May 10, 2004

STERLING, VA — "There is no reason for practice", said Glenn Hoffert on his porch Sunday.  "You bring the club back in the slot, shift the hips, and let it ride."  This is the simple explanation given by Glenn after his 9-month absence from golf.

Glenn Hoffert played twice since playing in his first major championship.  "This guy brings real confidence", said Tom Fowble.  "Maybe he is playing, getting better and not logging scorecards.  That is a definite sign of cheating."  Tom Fowble is the winner of the 2003 Carl Spackler Open.

Glenn was asked about his easy swing and then asked about Tom's allegations.  "I am not the player that went out and got lessons last year just before the tournament", said Hoffert.  "I know where the slot is in my swing.  Slick tells me that is all I need to worry about."

The reporter turned and said to Glenn, "Do you think the slot will help you out of the sand trap and on the greens?".  Glenn replied, "Just because I am not playing golf does not mean that I have not been on vacation.  I spent a week in Hilton Head with my family on a private beach.  There is plenty of sand and minature golf.  What other questions do you have?"

As Hoffert appeared to be angered by the media attack, he left his beer behind and went into his house for a snooze.