September 8, 2010

TERRA ALTA, WV — Betting is an amazing activity, a gripping pastime, an interesting hobby, and a lucrative profession. No matter what you choose, betting is undoubtfully great fun. There are luck-based games like roulette, bingo and slots, and strategy games like poker and blackjack. And when you gamble on talent and behavior, the excitement moves up a notch. That is when the suspense builds and the adrenaline flows.

Golfapalooza XIV will begin in a few weeks with lots of gambling. Closest to the Pin, 100 Feet, the Boland Bet, skins, poker, and Cornhole Calcutta auction to name a few. Don McFarland could return with his gambling addiction. “McFarland would bet a loozer’s underwear was not white if you asked him too,” says Brian Flanagan. “He will bet on anything.”

McFarland returns to Golfapalooza for his 5th event and second year of cornhole. It could be his first full golf tournament in 7 years.

The betting in Terra Alta has expanded into handicap betting, which comes with a variety of odds. “Some of this betting with handicapping is too complicated,” says McFarland, a.k.a. Spanky. “There are tons of even bets out there. I have been working on a list of event bets. They cover all aspects of Golfapalooza and its participants.”

Don proposed, “Give me a name and I will give you the bet.”

JT Thomas suggests, “Tim Hibner”. McFarland replies, “Easy. Hibner sticks around for the awards presentation.” Thomas replies, “That is pretty good. Let me think about which side I would take.”

Thomas suggests, “Eric Kaniecki”. Spanky replies, “The very first bag he throws goes in the hole.” Thomas asks, “In competition or practice?” McFarland replies, “Competition.”

Brian Watson asks, “How about my boy Dages?” McFarland replies, “Another easy one. He sticks around for the awards presentation.”

“Lyme,” asks Watson. Spanky replies, “He sleeps the first time with a dip in.”

“And me,” asks Chef. “Your cornhole Calcutta is worth more than your golf Calcutta. I also think you will burn one of the steaks and quietly eat it, but that there is no way to track that.”

The legendary Brent Kaniecki, a.k.a. Patch, asks about himself. McFarland replies, “Your first shot on Thursday is a dead pull and comes to rest right of the cart path.”

“How about the Real Stan,” Brent asks referring to his brother? Spanky replies, “We need to add Mark too. Mark K. versus Stan K in a pissing contest. The longest distance at any point will win.”

“And Randy,” says Patch referring to Jason Watson? McFarland answers immediately, “He wears the same pair of golf shoes for at least two rounds of golf.” Patch replies, “That does not sound like a 50/50 bet. Is he flying with limited luggage?” McFarland replies, “That is a 50/50 bet regardless.”

JT Thomas jumps back in. “How about Kid Rock,” asks Thomas? McFarland replies, “He aims left of the tee box sign when teeing off the 12th hole.” Thomas replies, “That somewhat sounds like an opinionated bet.” McFarland replies, “Not really. When he lines up… someone can put a club down that touches both toes. The club direction will decide the bet.”

“And me,” says Thomas referring to himself. “You register the lowest number of strokes in 11 years.” [Thomas rolls his eyes.] Thomas asks, “That is 50/50 bet?” McFarland says, “I will take either side of this bet. You are clearly playing your best golf in 11 years.”

The addicted golf gambler Pat Boland asks, “How about Butter?” McFarland answers, “He fluffs a ball before teeing the 3rd hole.” Boland shakes his head and replies, “I would not take that. How about including the 3rd hole too?” Don replies, “Nope. That is handicapping the bet. Two holes is a 50/50 bet.”

“How about me,” asked Boland? “You double-bogey the 10th hole during your stay in Terra Alta,” replied Don.

McFarland was asked about rookies Munksgard and Lewis. He replied, “Neither rookie will score a triple-bogey or better at the 17th hole without scramble help.”

Boland asks, “Any other good 50/50 bets?” McFarland replies, “Sure. Dosky cards a 12 or higher sometime in competition.  Double G eagles a hole. Carlstrom pars the 1st hole without scramble help. Monte yells, ‘Whooo Whooo' before he shakes a hand or steps foot in the cabin. No handicaps; Whitey versus Slick over 54 holes. No handicaps; Christian Miller versus Backfat in cornhole. Quack introduces two poker games with rules that causes at least one player to yell, “W.T.F.Q.!”  Pannullo retains his “godfather” nickname in October 2010. Sizeten wins the ‘Dosky Award’.”

Monte asks, “How about yourself?” McFarland replies, “The Dolphins beat your Jets on Sunday night.”