October 12, 2010

WHEELING, WV — Fresh off his first ever Squib Award victory, and a Golfapalooza event filled with more gambling than a Vegas casino, Pat "Hurricane" Boland will look to secure a victory in the Virtual Summer Open over the next couple of weeks. as the golf season winds down; winds down for everyone except Randy Watson and Sizetenshoeski of course. Until just this week, Boland was unaware that there even was a Virtual Summer Open. "I've been so focused on just playing good golf, and beer pong, that I hadn't even noticed it. Do I win any money for it? Is this something we gambled on?"

There is no prize purse for the Summer Open, but if the Hurricane is able to hold off the field for another few weeks, you can believe there will be some money on it next year. "I can't believe this has slipped beneath my radar," added an obviously agitated Hurricane. "I'll give the field 10 to 1 odds against me from now until the end of November; whoever wants in, just email me."

Golfapalooza's official position is that no gambling shall take place on the Virtual Summer Open, for the purposes of limiting sandbagging and maintaining MELC integrity. You'd think that Golfapalooza's Vice President in Charge of Gambling would know that.