September 15, 2011

TERRA ALTA, WV — As we approach the end of summer, most Loozers are looking to start changing over their wardrobes to get ready for cooler temperatures. Boland is ready to get out his feet pajamas from the Carters outlet. Al has to put on five layers of clothes to stay warm in winter as opposed to three in the summer. Before that happens, Loozers should keep in mind that GXV is a Loozers Choice year when it comes to Thursday and Friday shirts.

"I looked in my closet this summer and saw 14 Golfapalooza shirts hanging there," Golfapalooza founder GStan said recently. "Every year I come back with another shirt and the older ones just seem to be getting cast aside. For the last few years, we've all worn the shirts from the previous two G events on Thursday and Friday and obviously the new ones on Saturday. This year, to mark the 15th anniversary of the greatest golf event in America, we're bringing back Loozers Choice on Thursday and Friday. I want to see how many Loozers still have the red shirt from GVII, the black mock turtleneck from GVIII, or even the maroon shirt with the dumb logo from GIII. Seven Loozers attending this year got the maroon shirt; I want to see it on at least one of them. I don't care if their gut is hanging out from underneath it because it doesn't fit anymore. Speaking of guts hanging out, what's going on with the Flanagan brothers? Both of them need XXL shirts now?"

Randy Watson was next to address the contingent. "First off, I took my winter clothes to the local Goodwill store in Columbus before I moved back to Houston a few weeks ago," Watson said.  "Second, I'm getting my 12th shirt this year and they all still fit. I'm glad I found out now about Loozers Choice so I have time to make sure I have matching red shoes with my GVII shirt."

According to GStan, it's not just retro shirts he wants to see at the cabin. "Sheiker tells me that Loozers have spent over $500 a year in apparel orders going back to around GVII or GVIII. Let's bring back the old visors, hats, pullovers and whatever other stuff was bought. You know Hef's bathrobe will be back this year. Winthorp was so jealous of all the attention that Hef got that he ordered his own robe for this year."

13 days are left before the annual practice round occurs with its traditional 1:00 tee time.