September 2, 2012

PARADISE HILLS, OH — As we all know there is usually some gambling that goes on at Golfapalooza.  Between the weightloss bet, the fantasy football, the DeQuackathon, Calcutta, Fucking Streak for the Cash, on course gambling and not to mention the ridiculous poker table, the cost of trip is nothing in comparison.  To soften the monetary blow of Golfapalooza betting, some loozers bet things other than money.

This year is no different.  Donnie "Spanky" McFarland is bringing highly touted rookie, and twin brother of Jackie, Ronnie Green Jr to Golfapalooza.  Spanky has been hyping the rookie as an early favorite to bring home some hardware based on his scores on the summer circuit in Eastern Ohio.  The two of them were called out on the carpet by KGB and Jambone regarding the rookie's ability to score at the very challenging layout at Alpine Lake.  After some back and forth banter via e-mail and Facebook, the Gauntlet has been laid down!!!

Ronnie (aka Frankie) has two attempts (Thursday and Friday) to cover Spanky's (and his own) ass.  If the Rook can go lower than 92 on either of the first two tournament rounds, KGB and Jambone have promised to jump in Alpine Lake!!  However, should both of scores be highter than 92, Spanky and his protige will be swimming with the fishes.  92 on the nose is a push and nobody will be getting wet.

Those involved were reached for comments and here is what they had to say:

Spanky: "Ronnie is a natural!!  His effortless swing is something to behold.  This is like taking candy from a baby and we all know what a baby JT can be.  Any of you other Fuckers want in??"

Ronnie: "I dont know how I let Donnie get me into these things.  I've never seen the course, but it doesnt really matter.  Just in case, I've started swim lessons at the Y"

JT: "I personally played with the rook last weekend and am seriously thinking about raising the bet to 102 to make it competitive.  I've taken my swimsuit out of my suitcase.  I won't be needing it!!  Under tournament conditions, he can not pull this off."

KGB: "F&%k those motherf*^kers!!  Donnie's mouth is writing checks his ass can't cash!!  If he breaks 92, I will not only JUMP in the lake, I will streak naked back to the cabin!!  Won't Happen!!"

Founding Father Sheiker Long had this to add, "I'm just pulling for a 92!!"

16 Days!!  Can't Wait!!