August 13, 2018

TERRA ALTA, WV — With just less than a month before the start of Golfapalooza XXII, captains Jeff "Quack" Blankenburg and Aaron "Whitey" White stepped to the podium to reveal their respective teams and the pairings they have put together for the Wednesday KGB Cup.  The cup's namesake, Brent "KGB" Kaniecki, was on hand to shed a tear as he continued his pitch about why playing your own ball is far superior to playing a scramble.  KGB was overheard telling anyone who would listen, "Besides the fact that scrambles are gay, I want to make sure everyone sees how good I am.  i should be recognized as being better than 75% of the guys that show up.  And if we could play this on my home course, I would even kick Alf's ass."  It should be noted that the only person listening was his illegal house keeper, who does not understand English anyway.

Quack's team will be wearing 2013's Orange shirt with Brown stitching.  When asked why, Quack responded, "Well, as of today, the Browns are undefeated the last two years in the preseason, and this is a preseason tournament, so it just makes sense.  Plus, since I drafted Donnie, I knew that orange was a color he had plenty of, even if it does say 'WVDOC' across the back."

Whitey on the other hand opted to go with 2014's Grey shirt with Black stitching.  When asked if the shirt color had any significance, Whitey responded, "Yep", and then walked away from the podium.  

This year's format will be as follows:

1. Match play using net handicap scoring

2. There will be 6 total groups, Groups 1-5 will pit two members of each team against each other.  Group 6 will contain 2 sets of threesomes

3. Holes 1 - 6 will match Player A from Team Quack vs Player A from Team Whitey; and Player B from Team Quack vs Player B from Team Whitey; and Player C from Team Quack vs Player C from Team Whitey for Group 6

4. Holes 7 - 12 will match Player A from Team Quack vs Player B from Team Whitey; and Player B from Team Quack vs Player A from Team Whitey; and Player A from Team Quack vs Player B from Team Whitey, Player B from Team Quack vs Player C from Team Whitey and Player C from Team Quack vs Player A from Team Whitey for Group 6

5.  Holes 13 - 18 will be Team Quack vs Team Whitey in best ball for groups 1 - 5; Group 6 will be and Player A from Team Quack vs Player C from Team Whitey, Player B from Team Quack vs Player A from Team Whitey and Player C from Team Quack vs Player B from Team Whitey

Pairings and Groups

Group 1

Team Quack - Quack and GStan

Team Whitey - Whitey and Honey

Group 2

Team Quack - Cane and JT (aka Team Shortness)

Team Whitey - Winthorp and Randy

Group 3

Team Quack - Alf and Spanky

Team Whitey - Butter and Bro

Group 4

Team Quack - KGB and Sheiker

Team Whitey - Sleepy and Killer

Group 5

Team Quack - Monte and Chef

Team Whitey - GG and Sensei

Group 6

Team Quack - Father Dave, Walt and BDubs

Team Whitey - Spyderrrrrrrrrrr, SizeTen and Rookie Joe

Group by group analysis will be forth coming in the next few weeks.