August 29, 2018

WESTERVILLE, OH — If there is something ridiculous happening anywhere in the world, there will be no shortage of idiots standing around photographing or filming it and uploading it to social media. Golfapalooza has always tried to embrace said ridiculousness; playing quarters with Knob Creek, "loser stays" beer pong and hill slides are just a few ideas that come to mind. But occasionally the ridiculousness bears fruit and can inspire something awesome; watching porn on a 200 inch projection TV in front of the cabin also comes to mind.

Another Golfapalooza idea has been inspired by this social media video, which many of you may have already seen:  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lyAEL4Wqao

Golfapalooza is pleased to announce the first annual Golfapalooza All Sports Golf Battle. Still contingent on golf course approval, this event will tentatively take place following Friday's regular scramble round. Yes, there will be a championship belt. It's awesome. Yes, this is optional. $10 entry fee. Winner take all.

We will be using non-golf sporting equipment to play Holes #2 and 3 at Alpine Lake.  You will be able to (in any order with the exception of the hockey stick and whiffle ball):

- Hit a baseball or softball with a baseball bat.

- Hit a tennis ball with a tennis racket.

- Kick or throw a football.

- Kick a soccer ball.

- Throw a flying disc.

- Throw a lacrosse ball with a lacrosse stick.

- Putt with a hockey stick and a whiffle ball.

If you'd like to participate, here's what you'll need to bring (or have someone bring for you):

- One baseball or softball

- One Frisbee or disc golf disc

- One football (Nerf Vortex is acceptable. Airplanes with football shaped bodies are not.)

- One soccer ball

- One tennis ball

Please have them marked so that you can identify each of your items. Optionally, you can bring your own baseball/softball bat, tennis racket, lacrosse or hockey stick, but be prepared to share it with other participants.

Please don't go buy any equipment.  Some of these Loozers probably have 20 old soccer balls sitting in their garages, sitting next to their bowling balls and photo albums of Butter's mom.  Ask around if you need something.

RULES:

- We will be playing #2 from tee to green as a group (or in multiple groups depending on the number of participants).  You play your own ball.

- Once you use a piece of sports equipment, you can't use it again.  (If you run out of equipment, you may throw a tennis ball the rest of the way.)

- The hockey stick is your putter, and will only be used on the green's surface.  You will make all of your putts with a hockey stick and a whiffle ball.

- Each shot will be taken from a point no closer to the hole than the previous shot, within 1 yard left or right of the previous shot's final location.  Running starts are acceptable, assuming your feet don't cross this line.  Crossing the line will result in a one-stroke penalty.

- A lost ball is just a ball you haven't found yet.  You can play from any lie (including the marsh behind #3 green), and there are no out of bounds penalties.  If you really can't find your football/baseball/etc., you can apply the same lost ball penalties we use for Golfapalooza: 2-stroke penalty, but you must make your next shot from where the ball should have been (not from where it entered the hazard).

- The four lowest scores (and ties) will advance to the final, and play #3 the same way.  All sports equipment will reset. Winner receives the championship belt and the cash, 2nd/3rd/4th place receive a firm handshake.

SPECIFIC EQUIPMENT RULES:

- BASEBALL: To hit the baseball/softball, you must toss the ball to yourself, and hit it with the bat.  A whiff DEFINITELY counts as a stroke, but does not count as "using" this equipment.  You may continue using this equipment until you make contact, even if the outcome of that contact isn't ideal.

- TENNIS: Similar to baseball, you must toss the ball to yourself, and hit it with the racket.  A whiff counts as a stroke, but you can use the equipment again.  ANY contact with the ball is considered a use, no matter the outcome, even if it is with the frame or handle of the racket.

- FOOTBALL: Depending on the type of football you bring, you may choose to move it forward in one of three ways:

     o PUNT: You drop the ball in front of you, and kick it before it hits the ground.  Any contact with the ball is considered an attempt, and you are done using the equipment.

     o KICK: You may have someone hold the ball for you (or use a stand), and you can kick it similar to a kickoff in the NFL.  Any contact with the ball is considered an attempt.  The ball must be held behind the position of the player's previous shot.

     o THROW: You may throw your football, including the use of a running start.  This is especially ideal if you are using a Nerf Vortex football, which is permitted in this official competition.

- SOCCER: You must place the soccer ball at the point of your last shot (or the tee box), and kick it from this stationary position.  You may get a running start.  Any contact with the ball is considered an attempt.

- DISC GOLF: You may propel your disc only with one hand.  If you release the disc from your hand, it is considered an attempt.

- LACROSSE: You can throw a ball with a lacrosse stick.  If the ball leaves the stick in any way, it will be considered an attempt.

- HOCKEY: Once a shot comes to rest on the green (or the fringe), you will replace your ball with a whiffle ball, and all of your remaining shots will be taken with a hockey stick.

Are you in?

14 days! Can't WAIT!!!