KGB Cup Analysis Part 2
September 9, 2021
WHEELING, WV — After a Part 1 that went pretty much as expected, what can you expect to see from JT and Killer for Part 2? You guessed it - more of the same.
Quack and Dosky (Team Geeks) vs KGB and Monte (Team Sheiks)
JT: BFFs paired together?? KGB is the Ying to Montes Yang. The Wind beneath his wings. Best Fiya Fita Eva and the 6th smartest Kaniecki!!! What could possibly go wrong?? Not even one sinking the others boat could cause friction between these two. If you need more proof that Sheik is a genius, shame on you!!
Quack is still trying to perfect how he can hand out Halloween candy without coming into contact with unvaccinated individuals. Not enough time for golf with his emphasis on straightening out the worlds political views. Dosky is great in scrambles when his driver will occasionally accidentally boom one 300+ yards in the fairway. But this is the KGB Cup!! This aint no Par 3!! Your second shot counts here
and the third
and the fourth
and the fifth
. And you get the picture. And dont get me started on putting!!
Over before it started - Sheiks 5-0
Killer: Sheiker is definitely showing a pattern with his pairings and this group confirms he has a certain game plan and it has nothing to do with golf. He wants his pairings to have a certain comfort level and have something in common. Well, he did it again! If anyone at G is asked, who is the loudest, most abrasive, douche in attendance? The top two answers would be on this team.
For those of you that are new, it wont take long to understand. This team is known for peeing on people, putting their junk six inches from someone sleeping and sticking pizza crust in their mouth, and eating all the sour cream needed for a meal with their Doritos. They will also throw your hat on the ground and stomp on it, give you a bear hug until you need traction, and throw marshmallows all over the 2nd fairway so you spend 10 minutes trying to find your ball. KGB is in the middle of the pack with his golf game, but seems to wither under pressure. Monte still cant walk even with his new knee. They are doomed to fail.
Walt puts guys together for the right reasons and this is no exception. Quack is an expert when it comes to golf. Hes an eight handicap even if PostStats says hes an 11. Its documented, look it up. Dosky hits monster drives and with Quack's guidance, it is a certainty that he will become Mr. Consistent with the rest of his game.
No question here - Geeks 5-0
Caleb H and Chef vs Matt H and Sleepy
JT: Caleb was the Pro at Alpine Lake for a short time before enlisting in the US Army (thank you for your service BTW) and hes not even the A player in the family!! Newborn on the way and duties at a neighboring golf course will not have him Alpine ready. Cant wait to see the new physique though. Chef is reeling as most of his cooking duties have been stripped. What do we really NEED Chef for anymore?? Golf?? Cornhole?? 😂😂😂 Not enough strokes in the MELC system to help against this duo.
The A player in the Hagelberger family, Matt Noonan, a professional caddy who will no doubt be able to think his way around Alpine. The course is traditionally rough on rookies but this local boy is no stranger to the rigors of Alpine. Make sure he has a birdie horn!!
What do you do when you have a rookie that needs some guidance?? Put him with a Vet!! Sleepy has more rounds logged at Alpine than 75% of the field. Rumor has it that he has the wedge shanks all worked out just in time for G. All five of his brothers and an uncle will be in attendance for emotional support as well.
Sheiks 5-0
Killer: Sheiker really shuffled pieces around to put this sub par team together (not the good sub par). With the team he drafted, he didnt have a lot to work with. Matt is a local boy and works in the golf industry so you would think hes as prepared as any rookie could be. The problem is, no one can prepare for Golfapalooza, no matter where youre from or what you do. Now add to that, you are playing the match against your kid brother, your much more successful kid brother. See, Matt is a golf caddy and his brother is a golf pro. Thats like being an orderly and your brother is the chief of medicine. Then you are paired up with one veteran that will try to drink every beer that Alpine has to offer in the first hour on the course. Sleepy didnt get his name because hes the most attentive person. Expect a decent pep talk before the match, then its all over. Sleepy has lost a good bit of weight since last year and his tolerance should all take a hit.
Walt made a brilliant move putting Caleb with Chef. Caleb is a vet (in more way than one) and was drinking at G before he was ever a participant and knows what to expect. Put that with his instructional abilities and you have the perfect pair with Chef. Chef has sneakily become a decent golfer recently and is going to surprise a bunch of people. His swing has become smooth and fluent and looks athletic. Hes also done wonders with his demeanor. Hes almost a pleasure to be around. With his cooking duties becoming so limited, it may be time for a new nickname. How about KGB2 (Kinder, Gentler, Brian). It might be strange at first, but it worked out ok with the RGs. Either way this one is no contest.
Geeks 5-0
Scoots & Spanky vs. Kevin L & Sensei
JT: Kobra Kai Dojo will be well represented at GXXV as Sensei will be bringing two of his protégés to showcase their talents. One of them is paired with him in KGB Cup action. Losing is not an option. No mercy. Death before dishonor. Wax on wax off, paint the fence and sand the floor. But when all else fails
. shit your pants and distract the opponents.
Spanky and Scoots together again!! Separation anxiety may not have worn off by Wednesday and Spanky wont have his normal three days to acclimate to the weather at Alpine. Scoots had an impressive rookie debut but look out for the sophomore slump. Both upper echelon golfers but way too many strokes to make up for a match play event!!!
Sheiks 5-0
Killer: Sheiker, in the first of his two all NY teams pairs a rookie with Sensei. Even though they are neighbors, you cant put a rookie in the hands of a guy that used to go by Shitty and expect things to end well. Kevin L is a building inspector in New York with little time for golf. Speaking of little, how does a guy so short become a building inspector in New York of all places? Half of the buildings in the Big Apple are too tall for him to reach the buttons of the top floors. I guess someone else inspects those ones. JT, Cane, and Micro Monte are all excited about this new rookie. Sheiker must be thinking that if hes going to take a loss with a terrible team, you might as well lose to your opponents best team, and that is exactly what this is.
Walt put together a beaut in this pairing. If anything, its overkill. Scoots, the most successful rookie in recent G history, paired with Spanky, who is a heck of a felon, I mean heck of a fellow. The energy that team will have for the whole round will outmatch any in history. Not to mention the great golf that will be played. Sensei may have Kevin L, but Scoots and Spanky will have Vitamin L (it makes all thing well). Expect this one to get pulled off the board quickly in Vegas when all the money starts flowing in on these guys.
Geeks 5-0
