News Release
The Red-Headed Slut: Part 1
Myers Wins 2010 Open
Hoffert Formalizes Intent
Hoffert Probable
Hoffert Boosts Outlook
Beer Prices Soar 625%
Skipping Climbs to 38%
Czverik-Like Performance
The Worst Ever
The Magical Outfit
Jim Wins Lottery
3rd Straight Major
Hoffert's Magic #46
Holding Position
The Slot
Chasing History
Hoffert is Coming
Kitchen Pass Struggle
Title Defense
Hoffert Coasts to Win
Kitchen Pass Struggle

July 12, 2001

WASHINGTON, DC — Glenn Hoffert (i.e. Jim) said he still has control after a year of marriage, but a member close to the relationship says he is on lockdown.  The 27-year-old Jim decided to skip 2001 P.W.R.P. and skip town last Sunday morning with his wife.  Jim and wife have denied all accusations, but declined to comment on the issue.

"Sounds like a great candidate for my program," said Pokey after braving temperatures in the low 90s along with sweltering humidity on Sunday. "My back was really hurting.  I'm going to take this week off.  But, I had fun.  It's something I cherish.  I want to have fun with the guys and don't want to miss any of it."

The chairman of the Captain?s Club was visibly upset during what most fans called, ?His best round yet?.  "It would have been great to have Jim out there," Myers said. "He just brings people through the gates, compared to everyone else.  It's a struggle to have a Spring Open Champion that is whipped so early in a marriage."

Fans will have to wait yet again for Hoffert to play his first round of the Summer Open.  Hopefully, Jim will take a look at the situation and get enrolled with the P.W.R.P. if help is needed.