October 27, 2004

POTTSVILLE, PA — As the summer has now finished, so to has the dreaded Red Zone Alert for the 2005 Carl Spackler Open. "Player attendance has been vital to a successful tournament and the dreaded "Red Zone" which started 75 days ago is now complete", said Mike Trojanowski.  "I would like to personally thank all players who have protected themselves during the Alert.  Go ahead and put those beer goggles on and have sex."  

The Red Zone began promptly at midnight on Sunday, July 27, 2004.  The Captains? Club has no incidents to report.

Mike Trojanowski graciously accepted the responsibility to communicate the new found freedom with much excitement.  He announced, "As of today, we are removing the red scrolling banner across the website indicating the group is no longer in the Red Zone.  I want all players to feel free to have sex of all kinds."

Buddy Don Creighton stated, "I am very happy to date regarding the non-activity during Red Zone and the protection used.  I just hope that we don't obtain any surprises in the next few months.  That would be disappointing."