March 10, 2005

TROY, NY — Rookie Surinder Punia has regretfully announced he has been delayed in beginning the 2005 Tour Championship due to circumstances beyond his control. "I was scheduled to post my first card this week but Old Man Winter dropped a deuce on me," Punia said.  

Troy, NY was just hit with 8 inches of snow with only two weeks before the start of Spring and more is expected in a few days. When questioned by Greg Long about his delay, Punia lamented, "What I am supposed to do?  Play in two feet of snow, ice covered fairways, and in -20 wind chills."

Long stoically replied "What's your beef, rookie?".  Punia was reenergized by Long's inspirational comment and was last seen hitting range balls from his office parking lot.  

"It is refreshing to see a rookie with such dedication and willingness to sacrifice for the good of the Spackler," remarked Jason Dilks. "We are looking forward to his first posting," he further commented.

Jeremy Myers voiced an opinion of concern though. "I hope we don't find Punia frozen solid beyond a parking lot guard rail or something.  You know, like Jack Torrance in the Shining."  Only time will.