April 26, 2005

GREENVILLE, NC — Billy Smalls is tearing up the On Tour Championship like King Kong laying a whooping on Godzilla.  Smalls has come out swinging with a 43.5 scoring average putting him securely in second place.  Just 5.2 points behind leader Steve Hoden.

When asked about his quick start, Smalls responded with the bravado, arrogance, and words of his favorite actor Denzel Washington as Alonzo Harris in the movie Training Day.  "King Kong ain't got %$@# on me and either does the rest of the On Tour competitors. That's right, that's right. $%#@, I don't, %^&$. I'm winning anyway, I'm winning?I'm winning any &*^%$T^%$#&*N way. I can't lose. Yeah, you can shoot me, but you can't kill me.?

Mike Davis commented that, "According to his women, Smalls has always been quick out of the gate, but not much of a finisher.  I don't think there is any way he can keep it up?not after the mental whipp'n that Lee Spruill gave him last year down in Winston-Salem." Tom Fowble agreed with Davis, "Spruill owns Billy Smalls.  Smalls is a basket case when Spruill's name comes up."

The issue of performance enhancing drugs came up but was quickly shot down. Jamie Myers was quoted as saying "No. Smalls is rail thin. He could probably use some Human Growth Hormones if anything." Davis and Fowble questioned, "Is Viagra or beer a performance enhancing drug?"

What kind of message is Smalls trying send this early in Tour season? "Yes, I'm in the lead and ready to give my best Chris DiMarco impression." Fowble quipped. Myers believes, "The only message he [Smalls] may be sending to Carl is, "Please don't let this strong performance affect my NOOGs". Davis remarked that, "The only message Smalls is sending is that he is a sprinter and not a marathon runner".

King Kong ascended to great heights by climbing the Empire State Building, but fell hard crashing to the streets below.  Only time will tell if Smalls will climb high or hit rock bottom.