July 14, 2005

NEW YORK, NY — Have you seen the man pictured? He is none other than Donny "Escobar" Creighton, Spackler's Most Wanted. Currently he is sitting a top the On Tour Championship leaderboard at #1. He is a man hunted by at least 75 other golfers. Attempts by this beat reporter to track down Escobar were fruitless. I therefore talked to those closest to him.

How is Escobar handling the pressure of being #1?  Semi-pro Jason Ridgeway commented, "there is no pressure, his average is 4 points ahead and hasn't played since the 2005 CSOC." Captains Club member Jeremy Myers had a different take. "Don doesn't like rankings. As a staunch liberal, he believes everyone is equal," says Myers. "Although, Don secretly thinks he is superior to everyone."

Will Escobar play any more rounds or just remain in hiding?  Captains Club member Jason Dilks believes "since Donny spends about 40% of his time in Europe, he probably won't get another round in. He should be on the European Tour and not the Spackler." Myers agreed with Dilks. "The rest of the year will be devoted to his European travels and the woman he loves (and I'm not referring to his mother)."

Is it fair to the rest of the competition if Escobar doesn't post another score? Ridgeway was quoted as saying, "It is not fair if he doesn't post anymore scores?The minimum number should be increased to reveal a more accurate On Tour Champion." Dilks went even further by saying, "If Donny does not log another score, he should be dropped from the rankings!  You don't see Lance Armstrong quitting a race when he finally gets the yellow jersey."

Is it possible that Escobar is only posting his best scores? "No way!" says Myers. "Don is a man of few morals but believes strongly in honesty. Just ask the several individuals at the 2005 CSOC that Don gave to them his "honest" opinion of their apparel." Ridgeway also stood behind Escobar ... "That would be a shaddy thing to do and I don't think Don is shaddy."

The biggest question remains unanswered. Can Escobar hold on to win? Ridgeway believes that "he is scared about playing anymore rounds, he doesn't want to give up that lead." Captains Club member Greg Long had harsher words. "There is no possible way that Creighton can maintain 49.0 points per round. There is a reason why he skipped his round at Mountain Valley on June 8. He is running scared!"

There it is. Many questions are floating around about Spackler's Most Wanted, but it seems only Donny "Escobar" Creighton can answer them. Where are you Donny? Where are you?