August 18, 2005

GLEN ALLEN, VA — Joe Butkus, the man with 71 scorecards entered in 9 months, has dropped off the Spackler radar providing, "it is too hot", as his personal excuse for his constant absence.

"Everyone used to count on a scorecard every other day and twice on the weekends from Joey," says member Andrew Dill.  "This is crazy.  He needs throw a wet towel over his neck, walk instead of ride, and move back to the tips.  Be a man."

Butkus has submitted only 9 scorecards in the past 45 days.  Much below his average and as rumors continue to stir up, there is no evidence of any major emergency.

"There is a significant problem," says Matt Davis.  "He has re-adjusted 20-30 hours of his week for something else.  I intend to provide the group an extensive investigation and he better hope his lame excuse checks out."

There are other reports of membership expiration due to lack of funds and possibly a yank of the invisible dog collar he refuses to admit is attached.

Joe is tied for 23th place with 40.3 points per round.  His last round was the worst since Renditions in Maryland on June 8.

As the Butkus 1-year anniversary approaches, players begin to wonder if a woman, work, or membership expiration is the larger hidden problem.