October 13, 2005

OIL CITY, PA — As the summer has now finished, so to has the dreaded Red Zone Alert for the 2006 Carl Spackler Open. "Player attendance has been vital to a successful tournament and the dreaded "Red Zone" which started 75 days ago is now complete", said Jay Dilks. "I would like to personally thank all players who have protected themselves during the Alert. Go ahead and put those beer goggles on and have sex."

The Red Zone began promptly at midnight on Sunday, July 27, 2005. The Captains? Club has no incidents to report for the first time in history.

Mike Trojanowski graciously accepted the responsibility to communicate the new found freedom with much excitement. He announced, "As of tommorrow, we are removing the red scrolling banner across the website indicating the group is no longer in the Red Zone. I want all players to feel free to have sex of all kinds.  I am so proud of everyone involved."

Buddy Don Creighton stated, "I am very happy to date regarding the non-activity during Red Zone and the protection used. I just hope that we don't obtain any surprises in the next few months. That would be disappointing."

Rob Fustich (2005), Shawn Long (2004), Kevin Long, Jr. (2002), and Jamie O'Donnell (2005) have all fell victim to the Red Zone Alert.  The minimal failures over the past 5 years can certaintly be attributed to the alert.

The 2006 Carl Spackler Open begins its signing period in 30 days.  The On Tour Championship completes in 75 days.  A new website begins in 2 weeks.