July 23, 2002

WHEELING, WV — Stan "The Real Stan" "The Real Not-so-Slim Shady" Kaniecki has signed on to play at GVI.  Stan is the fourth rookie to register for this year's event, and also the fourth of the five infamous Kaniecki brothers to register.  Stan held a press conference late Monday to announce his decision.  "I am both excited and humbled to be playing in an event so rich in history and tradition and I can't wait to compete against some of the top amateur golfers in the nation."

Stan says that he's never played better than he is right now, but doesn't want to get to overconfident.  "I just have to stay focused.  If I start dreaming about seeing my name below the legendary Butter on the Melc Cup, or having Elvis hand me the Rookie of the Year Award, that's when I'll blow it."

When asked how he felt about the added bonus of participating with his brothers, Stan expressed mixed emotions.  "That'll be great.  We're spread out all over the Midwest now and don't compete in the same events very often.  I don't want to play in the same group with Brent though.  He's my brother and I love him but I do not want to golf with him.  Every time we play together, I leave the course feeling like I've just been to a rock concert; the whole ride home, I hear echos in my head of him screaming "THAT'S BULLS&%T" after nearly every shot.  It can really rattle even the most focused golfers, especially since you know that not every missed putt is the fault of the green; at least some are his fault."

The fifth and final Kaniecki brother, Mark, is rumored to have mailed his full payment, but this has not yet been confirmed.