News Release
Storybook Pass
Like a Sinking Ship
License to Kill Gophers
Wipe that Horses Ass
Bad Start costs Bateson
Slick Wins Closest to Pin
As White as a Tiger
What if?
Scrambled Greatness
Bitch Ain't Doggin Me!
Munksgard Wears Outfits
Accept the Challenge
Transportation Vehicle Arrives
Cederquist Signs; 3 Days Left
Horses Ass Returns
2003 Awards
Player Meeting Scheduled
New Kitchen Pass Award
Sokos Signs Really Late
Remembering Perfection
True as a Horses Ass

January 12, 2003

ASHTABULA, OH — On Saturday, the Captains Club announced it's 14th signed player to play in the 2003 Carl Spackler Open. Mike Watkeys has signed a letter of intent and is the 4th and final member to sign to play in this prestigious event.

"I am very excited about any opportunity to return to the gentlemen's club in Madison. It is just disappointing that I will have to wait 151 more days", said Watkeys. He added, "I heard Shari has been one of the best dancers in the east for quite some time. I just hope that she will be in town and on my lap."

Mike has not mentioned golf since the signing. It really appears that there is no interest in the tournament. Jason Watson of the club made a brief statement. "We are working with Mike. The girls are certainly important, but he is putting himself in a position to wear the dreaded outfit.  He had to put on a show in Round 4 last year to dig himself out of a hole."

Last year, Mike was awarded the 2002 Horses Ass Award for slamming full speed into a tree with a golf cart while making a Tequila Sunrise.  "That accident really hurt.  I still have bruses on my shins."

The 2003 Carl Spackler Open is scheduled to begin in 151 days. The field doubled from 9 players in 2001 to 18 in 2002.  The 2003 tournament has many prizes including a large purse, golden jacket, and horses ass trophy.  It is still unknown how large the field may get over the next few months.  However, one thing is for sure.  Watkeys will have Tequila and be ready to defend his Trophy.