January 23, 2003

VIRGINIA BEACH, VA — Rick Dosky, Captain?s Club member and CFO of the Carl Spackler Open Championship, proudly announced today that Captain?s Club member Kevin Long, Jr. has officially entered the 2003 CSOC.  The CSOC, which has adopted the theme ?Now, More Than Ever? as announced on January 5th, will be held in Madison, Ohio at the prestigious Reserve at Thunder Hill golf course.

?While I was jumping and dancing around the house with unbridled joy after the Raiders won last night, I suddenly remembered that I had to get my letter of intent sent in.  My hands were shaking so much, I could hardly write at all!  The Super Bowl?it?s unbelievable!  I just love Rich Gannon, I love him!!!!? squealed Long, who strangely, according to family sources whose motives are both unclear and questionable, turned in his application to Penn State with the name Hevy Joesph Linger on it, instead of his real name.

Hevy, one of his many nicknames, which include Linger, Winger, Eddie Fogel, and a host of others that aren?t appropriate to mention here, shot-gunned another Budweiser and passed some gas in an attempt to calm down.  A few hours later, after the smell cleared, we talked about his chances to win.

?I?ve been really working hard in the weight room with Mick (Long?s nickname for Phil Mickelson) this winter, and I know that I?m going to have something for these guys in the later rounds.  I plan on playing steady, solid golf for the first two rounds, hanging in behind the leader by no more than 5 points or so.  But I?m really going to take it to the golf course in the last two rounds, ?cause I know I have the stamina and mental toughness for it.?, said Long.

Other players aren?t sure about his sanity, let alone his mental toughness.  ?That guy?s a loony-tune, he?s freakin? OUT there, man.? said OlaFowble, who once took a trip with Long to a Penn State football game in Miami, Florida.  ?He?s a great guy, and fun to play golf with, you know, but he?s a wild man.  It wasn?t enough that he was throwing full beer cans from our van to another van at 70 miles per hour on the freeway, but the guy was yelling out the van at people in the ghetto, and they were chasing us.  I floored it and got outta there, man.?  Pat McElroy, also known as Mac Daddy, agreed.  ?Hevy?s crazy sometimes.  I made him apologize to Ola for his actions after that van ride.?

He is certainly going to be a player to watch, both on the golf course and off.  We?ll make sure that we get this story, and many more, to you directly from Madison, Ohio in June on SNN.  Don?t miss it!