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Storybook Pass
Like a Sinking Ship
License to Kill Gophers
Wipe that Horses Ass
Bad Start costs Bateson
Slick Wins Closest to Pin
As White as a Tiger
What if?
Scrambled Greatness
Bitch Ain't Doggin Me!
Munksgard Wears Outfits
Accept the Challenge
Transportation Vehicle Arrives
Cederquist Signs; 3 Days Left
Horses Ass Returns
2003 Awards
Player Meeting Scheduled
New Kitchen Pass Award
Sokos Signs Really Late
Remembering Perfection
Tin Cup II?

February 6, 2003

PITTSBURGH, PA — Jason Delp, an intriguing rookie, has qualified to play in the 2003 Carl Spackler Open Championship, according to Randy (Jason) Watson, VP of Player Recruitment. Watson made the announcement at the grand opening of the new, sprawling Pittsburgh CSOC satellite office, where facilities were expanded in response to the high volume of player registration in that area.  The CSOC is headquartered in Ashtabula, OH.

Very little is known about Delp, other than his comparison to Tin Cup, and his less than creative nickname ?Bigger than Me?, which is attributed to his intimidating 6?3?, 255 lb. frame.  In contrast to what the golf world knew about Roy McAvoy back in 1996 at the U.S. Open, however, SNN was able to comb the Carl Spackler Open website for some interesting tidbits of information about this prospective Tin Cup II.  (Some beat writers here at SNN have also dubbed him Iron Cup, another reference to his physical presence.)

As our research team at SNN poured over the website, they found some striking similarities between Delp and McAvoy.  SNN?s report uncovered that they have the same lovable ?rough-around-the-edges? personalities, as Delp used to drive ??a big-ass Chevy Blazer with monster-truck tires??, according to his bio, and McAvoy drove to the 1996 U.S. Open in his used R.V.  Another subtle similarity between the two revealed that McAvoy, at one time, lost his golf clubs in a bet and had to win a used set by playing with various garden tools, including a shovel.  Could it be that Delp acquired his Adams knock-off metals in the same way?

SNN made one final comparison between the two players with the respect to golf scores, and there seemed to be no resemblance on the surface.  Delp?s On Tour stats were not overly impressive, averaging +2.2 on Par 3s; +2.7 on Par 4s; and +2.5 on Par 5s.  If the players truly mirror one another, then Delp must have continually demanded ball after ball, on every hole, until he pulled off the perfect shot; penalty strokes be damned.

I attempted to extensively interview Delp over the phone about the SNN report, but he was far too busy, even for me, Director of Sales, as he was trying to network a Xerox copier at the time.  As we concluded our shortened conversation, I quickly tested him with this quote:  "This is, without a doubt, the stupidest, silliest, most idiotic grotesquery masquerading as a game that has ever been invented."  Without missing a beat, Delp cheerfully replied, "Yes, ma'am, that's why I love it!"  Who could forget one of the funnier exchanges between Dr. Molly Griswold and Roy McAvoy in that movie?  Delp didn't miss a beat with his reply...hmmm...a diamond in the "rough"?  We'll see in June.

Don?t forget, if you want to follow up with Jason Delp?s fascinating story, you?ve got to tune in to the Spackler News Network.  SNN is the only network with wall-to-wall coverage of the 2003 Carl Spackler Open Championship, starting on June 11th with the practice round, including bonus coverage of the post-practice round press conference.