June 25, 2003

PITTSBURGH, PA — Sources close to Golfapalooza have indicated that Don "Spraguer" Sprague has officially signed up for Golfapalooza VII. When contacted for comment this morning, Spraguer had this to say: "I've been working 13 hour days for over two months straight with hardly any time off. The only thing that's kept me going is knowing that GVII is just around the corner."

"I recently talked with Gus Sokos on the phone about this year's entertainment. He said that he appointed Squib as co-chair of the entertainment committee. Apparently the two of them have been conducting some field work to assess potential candidates. I have faith in the two of them that they'll be able to reach the high standards that were set last year in the entertainment procurement area."

Founding Father Grundo was pleased to learn of Spraguer's commitment. "The amount of people in the world that tell it like it is are becoming fewer and fewer. That's one thing you can count on with Spraguer. I don't think he understands the meaning of the phrase 'political correctness.' Give the guy a bottle of bourbon to sip on and you have hours of fun and games."

Grundo also commented on his golf game. "I've played a couple of nine hole rounds recently and left the driver in the bag. The way I was hitting my three-wood felt like I was channeling the spirit of Mills. I may leave the driver at home this year."

Only 91 days remain until GVII. Spots are filling up at a rate of about two per week. Don't delay in claiming yours.