April 7, 2002

WILLIAMSBURG, VA — Dan Weizenecker, a 2002 rookie has started off with a terrible round with an all-time Carl Spackler Open 8 point round of golf at Safari Golf Club in Dublin, Ohio.  Weizenecker, which will square off in 10 short days in his first major championship is now wondering if the Cervic pants will fit like a O.J. Simpson glove.

"I really think it was cold out, but I think some adjustments need to be made this week or just bring the size 34-36 pants."  Weizenecker, unlike several other members of the field were scared of the 33 degree temperatures sweaping across the region on Saturday.  Weizenecker added, "When I decided to play, I knew it was too cold to rain and my score would not be average, but this is unacceptable."  Weizenecker played considerably well last fall and things were looking up going into the offseason.

The Vice President of Golf Instruction, Tom McCauley, heard about Weizenecker's outing late Saturday evening.  "I am very disappointed and shaken by the score posted by Dan.  I will pray for him as no golf instruction will not be able to fix him by April 18.