September 11, 2003

GALENA, OH — In a courageous display of solidarity, Max ?Buck Fever? Dieterle joined Greg Long in a quest to rid Golfapalooza of profane language.  In a press conference held in Galena, OH, Dieterle stated, ?I don?t give a flimflam if I slice 12 drives into the water on number 11, there is no way I?m gonna say one profane word at GVII.  

?I mean does every 20-30 something male have to resort to foul language to feel like a big bad mother trucker?   Seriously, we are all creative enough to substitute phrases like ?daddburnit? or ?shove it up your hoohaa?.  Hell?sorry.  Heck, even Brent uses ?poop? instead of its more colorful cousin nowadays."  Reporters could only imagine that Dieterle was referring to feces and not one of Kaniecki's actual innumerable cousins...or brothers for that matter. After a pause to hold back tears, he added, ??and dagnabbit, I commend him for it.?  Dieterle punctuated his press conference by flipping off the attendees with his ring finger.