April 23, 2004

WINSTON-SALEM, NC — The bunkers at the Championship course in Tanglewood Park will determine who wins the Carl Spackler Open Championship this year, as there are 102 to contend with.  The 6637 yard, par 70 course boasts a bonus of 13 points to every CSOC player willing to challenge it and all of the sand.

?I plan on bringing plenty of wedges with me this year.  There?ll be a wide variety of shots each player will have to use, a few right off the green, some 20-40 yards away, and others right in the middle of the fairway.  You just cannot use a sand wedge each time.  I?ll probably leave my 3 wood and 1 iron at home,? said Brian ?Butter? Flanagan.

?I haven?t seen pot bunkers like this since the British Open at Carnoustie.  Players that aren?t working on their sand play right now are damned fools.  They?ll be eaten alive,? exclaimed Mike Davis, a.k.a. Gumby and Manager of Tournament Activities.  ?Bring your sunscreen.  It?ll be a long week at the beach,? he added.

The sand traps are so prevalent that Carl Spackler took the unprecedented step of sending the entire field a personally written e-mail warning, entitled: ?2004 Carl Spackler Open, Sand Trap Warning.?  The body of the e-mail advised that players ??could not ignore the 102 sand traps?? and that, specifically, Brian ?Ruthie? Long ??found 16 bunkers on his first 18 holes??  The note also goes on to say that ??the winner?will most likely be determined by the shots made from the bunkers??

Gentlemen, it looks like we may now know the reason that Gene Sarazen, known as ?The Squire? and winner of 7 major championships, invented the sand wedge in 1930.   It?s design seems destined for exclusive use on Champions course in Tanglewood Park.  As Ty Webb said: ?Be the club, Danny.  See your destiny.?