September 19, 2004

WHEELING, WV — The Tournament Field for Thursday's Golfapalooza VIII has been announced and Day 1 pairings have been set.  For detailed pairings, please visit the Tee Times link on the Open Championship page.  Defending their Four-man Best-Ball Title on Thursday will be the be the Tequila foursome of Slick, Gus, Spraguer and newcomer Squib (filling in for the ailing Max "Dangerously Low Barometric Pressure" Dieterle).

This year's field figures to be one of the most competitive groups of Loozers assembled.  With just four days until the ceremonial Jager shot, the CarlSpacklerOpen.com panel of experts has offered their Field Review and Predictions:

MELC Champion will emerge from the following:

Rob Magruder JT Thomas Brent Kaniecki Jason Watson Bret Lyme Greg Garrett

Green Jacket will emerge from the following:

Rob Magruder Brent Kaniecki Todd Flanagan Bill Bateson Mark Kaniecki

FIELD (BELOW)

BILL BATESON - Rookie

Why he might win:  Because his picture will look good in the clubhouse.

Why he won't:  He'll be too busy combing his hair and posing for photos.  Have you seen his bio picture?  Taken right out of a high scholl yearbook.  Pretty Boy!!

ERIC MELICK - Rookie

Why he might win:  He'll be playing with Bateson's Balls.

Why he won't:  No rookie has ever been prepared metanlly to withstand the event.

  STACY BARTLETT - Member

Why he might win:  Because he lost everything else at the poker table.

Why he won't:  Well you've seen him swing.

DON SPRAGUE - Defending Champion

Why he might win:  He's been there before.

Why he won't:  His eyes will be crossed from staring at the porn.  Then again, this may be why he won last year.

JEFF BLANKENBURG - Member

Why he might win:  Because he's the 2nd best golfer On Tour

Why he won't:  Dieterle won't be there wipe his butt and tell him how good he looks.

PATRICK BOLAND - Member

Why he won't win:  Too big of a taco to show up for the entire event.

GEORGE SOKOS - Founding Father

Why he won't win:  Too big of a taco to stay for the entire event and his ass is not nearly clean.

RICK DOSKY - Member

Why he could win:  He'll be arriving with Slick.

Why he won't:  Hand cramps from excessive self-gratification.  He is not "Master of his Domain."

TODD FLANAGAN - Member

Why he might win:  Marijuana bongs have replaced ball-washers on all tee-boxes.

Why he won't:  Only 4 of 18 holes are 90-degree dog-leg right.

MARK KANIECKI - Member

Why he might win:  Has his name engraved on his balls.

Why he won't:  Tee times are before 10:30am.

STAN KANIECKI III - Member

Why he might win:  Hits the ball about 280.

Why he won't:  Weighs about 280.

GREG GARRETT - Member

Why he might win:  He's attended about 5 G's now and has never won anything.  He's due.

Why he won't:  You only need to hit driver off the tee.  Short game sucks!!

GREG LONG - Member

Why he might win:  Because he wins everything else.

Why he won't:  Tequila.

JT THOMAS - Member***Expert Pick

Why he might:  Has reincarnated his game to rival his once promising potential.

Why he won't:  Poker and Blackjack table.

JASON WATSON - Flanagan WannaBe

Why he might win:  Sandbagged all summer.

Why he won't:  Too focussed on defending his 2-time Johnson Award and Brent will have kicked his ass by Saturday.

BILL KOLIBASH - Member

Why he might win:  Sobriety.

Why he won't:  This is not hockey.

BRET LYME - Member

Why he might win:  MELC Points.  He really sucked last year.

Why he won't:  Alcohol and sleep deprivation.

ERIC KANIECKI - Founding Father

Why he might win:  He can hit a 3-iron.

Why he won't:  In-house entertainment is allegedly coming on Thursday night.

BRIAN FLANAGAN - Founding Father

Why he might win:  2001 Champion

Why he won't:  Brent won't allow it.

BRENT KANIECKI - Founding Father

Why he might win:  40-foot putts.

Why he won't:  Beer-Pong and 3-foot putts.

MIKE LONG - Founding Father

Why he might:  He thinks he can beat Patch.

Why he won't:  He's still Sheiker.

ROB MAGRUDER - Founding Father

Why he might win:  Spent the last 2 years finding himself.

Why he won't:  Currently fighting Chlamydia.