January 31, 2005

POWELL, OH — Vice President of Cuisine, Tom McCauley today announced the signing of Brian Flanagan of Powell, Ohio, to a national letter of intent during the signing period in late December. Flanagan is the 17th player from Ohio to sign for this year?s major championship.

Butter has decided to attend this year once again to show the ability to acquire kitchen passes at will. "Daddy. Are you going to that golf thing again this year?" replied Butter's daughter. "Yes", replied Butter. "Are you going to win the jacket?", said daughter. Brian replied, "I am going to try. It is not an easy thing to do." Flanagan's daughter immediately replied, "I hope you can at least beat Slick. He isn't very good."

Brian sent a note with his letter of intent. "I am excited about this tournament. This is my 8th kitchen pass in 60 days. I going to win this for my generous family.  I also have my annual Top 10 reasons why I have decided to sign once again."

The letter read," 10. As Grandfather to the Spackler, I feel it only appropriate to be present. 9. Watching in amazement the "natural" swing of Mike Trojanowski. 8. To see what Randy Watson?s swing looks like this year. 7. To be with some big dicks. Not Matt Davis. I?m talking about Bill and John. 6. Someone has to be on the receiving end of Boland?s poker loses, might as well be me. 5. Figure out this Jim Campbell guy.  Should take another few years I suspect. 4. Find out how much more gray hair Myers has. 3. Gain a few metro-sexual tips from Don Creighton, hopefully on hair products and dress codes. 2. Wouldn?t want to miss one of Slick?s ten thousand stories starting with ?You should have seen this shot I had on?..? 1. The coveted ?GOLDEN JACKET?.

This year, the jacket is mine."

Flanagan was asked about his chances to win the prestigious Golden Jacket.  He simply replied, "I fully expect to be wearing the jacket when I leave.  I am not planning to let down my family.  If I place 2nd, Saturday evening will not be a pleasant experience."

The 2005 Carl Spackler Open begins in 128 days near Pottsville, PA.  Player preferences are requested from the players in the field.