March 25, 2005

WARREN, PA — In late March NCAA basketball has its most grandest of events, March Madness, and the eventual crowning of its national champion.  This year the Carl Spackler Open Championship has just as an electrifying event, we call it Munksgard Madness.

Brothers Jeff and Chet Munksgard, and Uncle Jon Munksgard will be participating in this year?s major championship.  When Chet was asked if relations will be a problem in the quest for the Golden Jacket, he replied ?It?s every Munksgard for himself!  There will definitely be bragging rights for the highest finisher.?  

Chet did admit though ?that Jeff will have the best shot for a run at the title among the three of them.  He is more consistent than Jon and I, and he doesn?t get nearly as drunk as us.?  Jeff confirmed that sentiment by admitting ?that on the 19th hole Chet and Jon will probably be drinking moonshine while I will be sucking milk out of a baby bottle.?

Rumors have been circulating among the membership that with so many Munksgards and Longs present that a rivalry is developing between the clans and that a confrontation is inevitable.  Captains Club member Jeremy Myers commented that ?the Long monarchy has been in steady decline ever since Kevin Jr. defected to the South and moved to Virginia Beach because he married a hot cracker.?  

Myers further commented ?I would liken any rivalry to be more like Leon Spinks vs Larry Holmes.  Rather than trading blows, both clans will try and see which can drink the most Captain Morgan.? Chet agreed that ?Captain Morgan is the Munksgard?s collective weakness.? Jeff further added ?If a throw down was ever to occur, here?s how I see it.  It would be 8 Longs vs. 3 Munksgard in the beginning.  Jon would be pouring Kevin Long Sr. some Captain leaving us outnumbered 7 to 2.  I don?t like those odds.?

Lastly, Chet Munksgard was quoted as saying ?All in all, the Munksgards are going to a trio in the field to be reckoned with.  I?m confident that we can take the top three spots in the tournament?if it is a dry township.?  A dry township?  That?s Munksgard Madness!

***Jon Munksgard was unavailable for comment.  It is believed that he is still partying like rock star at friend?s engagement party at the local Elks club?that was 2 months ago.