July 24, 2002

WHEELING, WV — No one seems to be 'giving it up for Jackson Height's own Mr. Rrrrrrrrandy Wwwwwatson' lately.  That could be because he has been most uncharacteristically absent from all things Golfapalooza, including the Summer Open Championship, for more than two months now.  Watson, paid in full and still expected to attend Golfapalooza 2002 this fall, has neither sent an email, nor posted a Summer Open scorecard since May 18.

"When he's not out there competing, its really noticeable," says Greg 'Slick' Long, longtime friend and roommate.  "He really makes an impact in some way every time he steps on the course, not always with his play, but somehow he makes his mark; his absence leaves quite a void."

Bleeding-heart sentiments aside, the more pressing question is 'where the hell is Randy Watson?'  "I truly have no idea," laments Long.  "I was driving down the road the other day and passed a soccer field.  At one end, far away from all the dreadlocked, tree-hugger-lookin' dudes, I thought I saw Watson hanging out.  I thought to myself 'cool, Watson is out working on his wedges', but as I got closer, I saw no wedges, no golf balls; just some ugly shoes and a soccer ball.  It must have just been someone who looked like Watson."

Watson's band, Sexual Chocolate, is not touring this summer, and they're not in the studio cutting a record.  No comments were available from the band members.

Founding Father, Gstan expressed sympathies for Watson stating, "the life of an amateur golfer is not always as glamorous as it looks on TV.  We all go through tough periods in our public and private lives, and sometimes lose that competitive fire.  But I know Randy Watson, and if anyone can rekindle that fire, he can."