May 26, 2005

POTTSVILLE, PA — The Carl Spackler Horses Ass Award is a tradition in golf like none other.  An award that vaults men who normally would be shamed and humiliated to the highest levels of prestige and respect not seen in any competitive sporting event of the modern era. Past Horse?s Ass Award winners include:

Chad Long (2004) - for searching an entire front nine of Tanglewood Park looking for his 7-iron when it was in his bag the whole time.  In addition, looking for his golf ball in #6 fairway to hit his second shot when he never actually drove one off the tee.

John Dick (2003) - for taking his son?s (Gumby) new and favorite golf towel up into the woods to do clean up with after doing his business. Hole #13 will never be the same and Thunder Hill's Amen Corner has a new name.

Mike Watkeys (2002) - for driving a golf cart full speed into a tree while trying to mix a Tequila Sunrise.

Current Las Vegas odds have the following Championship attendees as odds on favorites to win the Horses Ass Award for 2005:

1.  Kevin Long, Sr. (8:1) after getting his latest cancer treatment in Chicago during the practice round, he gets on the wrong airplane and ends up in Atlanta. 2.  Matt Davis (2:1) will have tourney shirts made up reading, "Mountan Valley".   3.  Bill Bateson (4:1) gets lost in the Fairlane Village Mall and ends up in a police car once again.   4.  Rick Dosky (7:1) forgets his check book. 5.  Jim English (3:1) picks up a dead carcus off the road on the way to the Championship, puts it in his trunk, and then cooks dinner on Thursday night for the field in the River Inn parking lot.   6.  Chad Long (2:1) leaves home and forgets the Horses Ass Award. 7.  Marty Zabonik (6:1) shoots 90 in Round 1 under rookie pressure. 8.  Mike Certo (7:1) takes a long hot shower in the Mountain Valley locker room with the curtain outside the stall and floods out the building causing a mudslide that wipes out half of Pottsville. 9.  Mike Herron (3:1) shows up to Yuengling with sandals and gets tossed out on his ass. 10.  Kyle Marti's (5:1) golf cart doesn't make it up the hill between Pine #5 green and Pine #6.  The cart stall jams the field of players and delays the tournament for 60 minutes.

The Horses Ass Award will be determined after completion of Round 3 on Saturday during a Captains Club meeting. The Captains Club and Tournament Honoree will vote on the award winner. Based on the results, Captains Club member Jason Dilks with help will announce the finalists and why they were considered. Only after the finalists are released will the Tournament Honoree and Dilks release the winner's name and present the trophy.

Carl Spackler (or some else?) himself was quoted as saying "If one person calls you a horses ass, be curious. If three people, be reflective. After five people, buy a saddle."