July 4, 2005

COLUMBUS, OH — The Golfapalooza Finance Office reports today that Jeff Blankenburg, aka Quack, Blank, or any other twist of his last name, has become the 12th Loozer to sign for this year's event. Jeff is the sixth Loozer from the Columbus area to sign, the second Loozer not from Butter's neighborhood.

"Frankenberry has definitely raised the level of competition out on the links," said Golfapalooza founder GStan. "I thought I would be able to compete with Greg Long, but I always stayed up too late playing cards to get the proper rest needed to do it. Jeff has been able to push Greg for the individual title to make him earn it. Boland always makes a mini-run, but he just folds up like one of the pull-out couches in the cabin. Now that Mills and his three-wood aren't coming anymore, we need Jeff that much more. He's not bad at the beer pong table either. I'm very excited to hear of Jeff's signing. I wish I hadn't made that bet with my kids about eating a pack of cigarettes if I smoke one."

It's a little over twelve weeks until the ceremonial Jager shot marks the official start of this year's event. Rumor has it the Jager is already in someone's freezer and that Bartlett is making a bid to buy the Knob Creek brand from Jim Beam.