July 29, 2002

WILLIAMSBURG, VA — 58 Days left and do you know where your clubs are?  There are a few Loozers who might just answer that question with a no.  You see, in order to be eligible to compete for the MELC championship in Alpine Lake you must enter at least 3 scores into the website.  This will help keep the competition fair.  

When asked who cares about the MELC, Founding Father Robert ?Grundo? Magruder says ?This is a fantastic competition that puts players of all skill levels on the same playing field.  It gives players like me the opportunity to compete against some of the best players like Mills and Bartlett.  It really is all about who can elevate their game for the three day event.  Besides the winner receives $260, which coincidentally is the exact amount required to attend GVI.  I sure would like to go for free.?

?I still can?t figure it out.? A very confused Founding Father Brent Kaniecki also added ?I know this is going to be a fair event, I just wish the hell I had a clue about what?s going on.  I put my faith in the system though.?  

In response to the confusion over the MELC scoring system our reporter caught up with Greg ?Slick? Long to get some insight from the man who conceived this system.  ?Well the first thing you need to do is create a website, then have everyone enter scores then take the scores divided by the square root of the driving distances radius multiplied by the putting percentage angle verse the greens hit in regulation average times 2 by the third decimal point of the average number of clubs carried in the players bag and of course this all gets out of wack if the player does not wear golf shoes but I can balance that out by taking into consideration if the player has steel shafts or graphite.? Well, ok there you go all clear now.

So if you have not entered at least three scores, please be sure to do so before September 15th.  Those of you that still need to enter scores are as follows.  And please keep in mind that if you see someone on this list that you are sponsoring make sure they are aware of the situation.

LOOZER     ROUNDS     ENTERED Grundo       0 Bartlett       0 Squib       0 Spraguer       0 Pedro       0 Sheik       1 Todd       1 Hensley       1 Jack       1 Boland       1 Sokos       2 Mark           2 Elvis       2 Dosky       2