ACEY DEUCY

At first glance, this game has the appearance of being the simplest of the betting games played at G.  However, there is no game that will cause more loozers to pucker up tighter than a frog's ass than Acey Duecy.  The game is simple in its design.  The dealer lays down 2 cards.  Aces are high.  The player must decide whether the 3rd card will have a value between the 1st card and the 2nd card.  Sounds simple, right?

The twist to the game is where this game becomes like no other.  It is the tie, or "riding the rail" or "hitting the goal post".  If the 3rd card matches either the 1st or 2nd card, then the player not only loses their original bet, but must pay double.

Many a Loozer has been snared by this.  A $15 pot becomes a $45 pot in the blink of an eye.  The screaming from the table when this happens drowns out the deepest squeals from the porn room.  Corn holers rush in to see who got burned at the Acey Duecy game.  Sleepy wakes up.  Monte steps away from the Woo Woo machine.  It is a game like no other.

Variations:
- If an ace appears as the 1st card, a player may declare it "low"
- 1st Round maximum bet is sometimes set at ante-level, to prevent a quick 1st round ending.
- Mandatory minimum betting, sometimes $0.25 or $0.50, even when there is no possibility for a winning bet, just to build the pot
- Fresh cards sometimes given to player who receives two cards of the same value

Tips
If you do not have enough self control to only bet that which you can afford to lose WITHOUT being pissed off about it, don't play. Because if you do play, you are virtually guaranteed to be skull******! When someone calls Acey-Deucy, go shower. You smell.

PASS THE TRASH

Another simple game.  Great to be played when the Woo Woo machine has been drained and the complexities of 3-5-7 are too much to comprehend (Bartlett).  This game is a nice way to end an enjoyable evening of poker, when the remaining participants are down to the last of their allowance (Eric).

Each player starts the game with 3 equal piles of chips or cash in front of them.  The Dealer will determine the amount of each stack. The dealer deals 1 card to each player.  Starting clock wise from the dealer, or his left for the clock challenged (Whitey), the player [the trader] much decide whether to pass his card to the left or keep it.  If he decides to pass his card, the person to his immediate left [the tradee] must trade cards with him.  {The exception to this is if the tradee has a King.  The King is known as a "stopper" and does not get exchanged!  It does not have to be face up. (this is where the comedy comes into play).}   The tradee then has a choice to trade his card to his immediate left.  This continues until the choice gets to the dealer.  Since the dealer does not have a tradee, he may trade with the top card on the deck.

Once everyone has made their decision, the players reveal their cards.  The lowest card loses and the loser must pay one of their stacks into the pot. Once you're out (of stacks), you're out (of the game). The rank of cards is A-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-J-Q-K. After each played deal, the deal ROTATES.  After each round of play, the deck is passed to the left, in a clockwise direction.  

Variations
- The "Double Save" -  If 2 players reveal cards of equal value, then the "Double Save" occurs and those players are safe.  The "Double Save" even overrules the King. If all players have a "safe card" (for example, four players end the deal with a 7, 7, 9 and 9 showing) all players are safe and no payment would be made to the pot.
- The Double Burn - when the losing card is an ace, the player pays two stacks instead of just one. If a player with only one stack left gets double burned, they still pay just the one stack that is left.
- The Polish (Kan-eck-ee) version - The Ace is a high card. And the order of winning and losing cards is reversed. Also, even with the Double Save in effect, kings never pay. King is always safe in the Polish version.  This variation is more effective later in the weekend when most Loozers have had 2-3 days to get used to the traditional rules and have tuned out KGB since Friday am.

Tips
Just use your best judgement and match your decision-making to the number of players left in the game. (the more players still in, the worse cards are able to be safely held.) This is the one game in which poor play cannot possibly cost you anymore money than you had to risk just to buy in.

KINGS AND LITTLE ONES

Not sure the history of when/where this poker game was introduced to G, but suffice it to say, it has become a fan favorite.  Pots have been known to exceed $100, and non-playing Loozers have been seen standing 2 deep around the table.  More Kaniecki loans have taken place at the Kings table during G than Butter's Mom's jokes.  If you're short on cash, this is the game to play!

Each player antes a predetermined amount.  The ante is normally kept low, usually a quarter or $0.50, as the players will continue to ante each round.  The dealer then deals 5 cards to each player.  Going clockwise from the dealer, each player must declare whether they are '“in' or '“out'.  Once all players have made a decision, the game continues in the style of 5 card draw. (if I have to explain 5 card draw, you need to be playing cornhole)  Each player may discard and draw up to 3 cards (or 4, dependent on the number of players).  All losing hands pay the winner the amount of cash in the pot.  For example, if the pot is $3 and four players are "in", the winning hand will get a total of $9 - $3 from each of the losing hands. The players now re-ante.  The game ends when only 1 player decides to be '“in'.  He then wins the pot.  

This is important. The reason the game is called Kings and Little Ones is because Kings are wild, as well as the lowest card (or cards, if your lowest card is a pair) in your hand.  Aces are always considered to be a high card.

If the dealer is the only player to be '“in', then the remaining players have the option (again) of being '“in'.  This option is only available when the dealer is the only player '“in'.

Variations:
- Instead of the dealer being the only "in" to trigger the second option, the dealer may call that all players who were "out" before the first "in" get a second option to extend a game that is about to end because only one person is in. For example, players A B and C declare themselves to be "out". Player D is "in". If players E and F both declare "Out", players A B and C get one more chance. Players E and F do not get another chance, because they were already aware that player D was in on their first option.

Tips
Four of a kind is just an OK hand in this game. As a novice, you want to try to make four face cards or better. Straight flushes (even royal straight flushes) and five of a kinds frequently win this game. Also, don't keep a 2 (unless you have more than one) or any other low card, just because it is wild. Whatever card is your lowest is going to be wild. There is no advantage in having your lowest card be an actual low card (unless you have more than one).

THREE-FIVE-SEVEN

This game was introduced to the G poker tables a few years ago by non other than the man, Quackenberry.  "Quack", as he is affectionately known amongst the Loozers, decided one year not to bring his Xbox and instead actually participated in the G experience.  (Meaning drinking more, and being less like Slick). As the name implies, this game focuses on the numbers 3-5-7.  It is a game that is best played late in the evening, when the Woo Woo machine is drained, Bro is on his 37th beer, and JT is asleep on the couch.  

Each player antes an amount determined by the dealer.  This amount should be low, as each player will re-ante after each round.  

Each round consists of 3 sections.  In the first section, the players are dealt 3 cards.  During this section, the 3's are wild.  The following portion describes a '“guts' type of play  The dealer calls “1-2-3-drop” and the players that are NOT in will drop their cards. (all players will keep their cards for section 2, even if they dropped in guts). The remaining '“in' players will exchange cards privately and decide upon a winner (straights and flushes do not count for the 3-card exchange, only high cards, pairs and three of a kind).  The losing players must pay the winner the amount in the pot, just like Kings and Little Ones above.

In section 2, the players will receive two additional cards for a total of 5.  During this section, the “5's are now wild. (NOTE: 3's are no longer wild in section 2)  The players will repeat the guts round just like section 1, and the losers will again pay the winner. All players will again keep their cards for section 3. In section 3, the players will receive two additional cards for a total of 7. During this section, the 7's are now wild.  (NOTE: 3's and 5's are no longer wild in section 3). The players will repeat the guts portion of section 1&2, and the losers will again pay the winner.

How the game Ends:

During each guts section, if only 1 player remains in, he receives a marker.  When 1 player has received 3 markers, the game ends, and the pot is collected by the winner.

Tips
Play sober.

Fours and Sevens
This is the granddaddy of all Golfapalooza card games. It has been played probably more often than any other game, dating all the way back to when Chief Not-So-Clean introduced it all the way back in 1997 at GI. It has witnessed pots so large that Loozers have been known to cover their debts with personal checks after having run out of cash.

The game is very simple. All players ante (any amount will due, as there is no re-ante in this game) and each player is dealt four cards. Each player declares whether they are in or out, similar to Kings and Little Ones, however, Fours and Sevens has no second option. If a player is in, he receives 3 more cards, giving him a total of 7. Fours and sevens are wild (duh!) and the player making the best five card poker hand wins the pot. Any losing hands match what was in the pot. For example, if 3 players are "in", and there is $6 in the pot, the winning hand will collect the $6 and the 2 losing hands will each pay the pot $6, raising the base pot for the following hand to $12.

OK, now I will tell you why this game is a c*cks*ckingsonofab*tchingcrackwh*re. Unlike Kings and Little Ones, there is no second option when only 1 player is in, because that player still has to beat "The Bitch." Actually, all winning hands, whether there is 1 player in or all players are in, must beat The Bitch. The Bitch is the name that has been given to the seven-card dummy hand that is flipped up at the end of each deal. The Bitch could not be more appropriately named. If The Bitch has a better hand than all players who were in, all players match the pot. The game ends when only one person goes in and that person beats The Bitch. (Haha, why do you think you were the only person in? Its because no one else has wild cards, they are all in The Bitch. You just got skull******!)

Variations
None

Tips
Observe other Loozers playing this game before you try on your own. Watch Hurricane, JT and Bro. DO NOT watch Sleepy or KidRock.