News Release
Harold Wins Open
Ms. Lacey Underall
Passing the Test
Any Questions?
'Rock' Solid Putting
Finishing Strong Again
Consumption Records
Turtle Boy
Championship Preview
C+
Position: Key to Jacket
Eightsomes Return
What's Next?
Tournament Notebook
Spackler Rankings Released
Handicapping
Skills Challenge Contest
'Talking about Practice'
Are you Sash Worthy?
Luxurious Obese Fairways
Championship Preview

June 4, 2008

PERU, IN — The remaining stretch to the 2008 Carl Spackler Open is short. Only a few hours are left for field members to get in their last rounds of practice and work out the kinks in their game. The stakes remain the same, a tournament purse and trophy are just the salad to the steak. The Golden Jacket is the prize everyone is seeking.

The field has several familiar faces that are sure to draw crowds of local fans out to the fairway edges to watch for missile-like balls rocketing towards their faces. Jon Munksgard, Rick Dosky, and particularly the return of Randon Mineweaser have all signed to participate.

"This course is really in trouble," exclaimed a zealous Marty Zabonik. "I feel like I am really going to kick it into high gear this year. The true rolling greens is the kinda edge that has me excited." Zabonik is one of several players that are sure to be leading the pack after round one. Unfortuately, Zabonik's brief Carl Spackler Open history has him easily ignored.

Mark Wray is looking to rebound from his showing last year at Grande Golf Club. "Everyone has no choice but to think my game sucks," says Wray. "This is my time to shine. It is all about exact yardages and dialing in the irons."

Greg Garrett is excited about the greens. "Everyone will hit the fairways, but who is our greatest from 150 yards," said a pondering Garrett? "The real men who can hit these greens has a tremendous edge on the 72 player field."

Rock Hollow Golf Club was designed by Tim Liddy and expected to be in top condition for its first major championship. Hole 1 will provide ample fairway from the tee plus two short irons to get there.

"I am bringing some rookies this year," said Jon Munksgard from his garage in Warren. "These guys probably need a formal hazing. We should be able to get a game plan together on Tuesday night."

Andy Hanks and Kelly Smith come to their first major championship with gold in their heart and fear in their eyes of the outfits. Their ability or inability to manage the course, its hazards, and most importantly the rookie jitters will be represented on the Tournament Leaderboard by Thursday night.

"I am not as concerned about winning the tournament," says Andy Hanks. "I am playing not to lose. I wake up with nightmares all the time. My fear is being forced to play aggressive golf in the final round to escape the Carl Spackler Outfit. I wake up sweating with thoughts of women at Homer's Sports Bar laughing at me."

The golf facility will provide near perfect conditions and golfers will not be granted too many excuses for poor play.

Several stories are sure to surface as the tournament nears and players begin their migration west. Who will be the next Cinderella story? Who will be the next Horse's Ass? Who will be the next to create a moment that falls into Spackler lore?