Alpine Lake does not have much of an enforced dress code. They let Elvis McCormick golf, no questions asked. Pretty much as long as you do not have your 'frank and beans' exposed to any direct sunlight, you'll be fine. Check the weather before you leave. We've been very lucky most years, but the potential for uncomfortably cold and/or wet weather is definitely there.

In an effort to make us look as goofy on the first three days as we do on Saturday, the Founding Fathers have implemented a new Golfapalooza Unity dress code. Loozers are requested to wear Golfapalooza golf shirts to play their rounds according to the following schedule*:

Wednesday, KGB Captains Cup - Wear the color designated by your captain. If you don't have one, borrow one from your opponent.

Thursday, opening round - Loozers Choice. Some of us have 17 shirts to pick from. They may not all fit right now but so what? If I can swing a club with it on, I might wear the damn thing.

Friday, moving day - Loozers Choice. Some of us have 17 shirts to pick from. They may not all fit right now but so what? If I can swing a club with it on, I might wear the damn thing.

Saturday, the finale - brand new GXVIII 2014 shirt

Sunday, departure - if you have a shirt left that doesn't a) stink like smoke, b) stink like stale beer, c) stink like puke, d) have grease stains on it from grilled meat, and e) have wrinkles like a used piece of aluminum foil, that is the shirt you should wear home. If you don't have one that meets all of those conditions, go with one that just stinks like beer, because you'll probably be sweating out alcohol for the next several days anyway.

If you don't have any shirts from past years, just wear your own boring non-logo golf shirt and try to make it through the day without completely ruining your round of golf by focusing on all the fun you missed at those tournaments.

*Loozers who do not follow the appropriate dress code but who actually do own the aforementioned Golfapalooza shirts will face severe consequences which have yet to be determined. Loozers whose shirts have been damaged in any way should bring them as evidence as to why they are not being worn. The Tournament Committee will assess the damage and make a ruling on its ability to be worn.