September 16, 2007

ALPINE LAKE, WV — Greg Long, the 8-year member of Golfapalooza, continued to release smidges of his new book, “Memories: How I lived Golfapalooza”, which is due out to book stores in a couple of weeks. Long, a.k.a. Slick, was asked to walk through Chapter 6, which is titled, “The Back Nine” as it provides his insights of how to play the Ron Forse par 72 golf course.

"This sharp dogleg right evens the score with Sheik and Brent after the sharp bassackward dogleg at the 9th hole.

This is the road hole, but not like St. Andrews in Scotland. This hole is your uphill very sharp dogleg right par 5. You have 3 choices off the tee. (1) a Todd Flanagan-fade, but that is impossible unless you are Todd. (2) Aim and hit your drive up/down Lime Plant Road, (3) or pummel your drive up the visible fairway.

I have seen Lime Plant Road work 3 times, but you need to be desperate for birdie or eagle. Your ball must come to rest on the left side of Lime Plant even if it is the shoulder area to remain playable. Your goal is the single huge bounce back up into the right rough.

Since most loozers are not desperate, you need that trusty stringer iron from the 9th hole or driver. You need par at the 15th or loose lots of ground. Hopefully you don't have a bad 14th hole because you need to be thinking clearly off the tee. Hit your stinger or driver up the gut and too long does not exist here. Hit it 300 yards straight up the gut if you wish because you never want to be short. Hit a few provisionals for future knowledge because your partners are now doing it.

Your goal with the second unimportant shot is to be within 150 yards for your very important approach shot. You might have some trees in your way, coming off the hillside, or sitting in deep rough. Regardless, you want the club that gets you to the bird house, which is asking for the easiest shot all day. Don't get greedy like everyone else. Just punch it back into the fairway near the bird house.

The pin is never in the middle. It is either on top in the back or down below in the front. Never club down. The middle of the green is the front of the green. You want to hit the green, but the back pin placement needs at least another club.

My caddie, a 3-foot 9-inch midget, wrote something down in my course notebook a few years ago regarding the 2-tier green. I thought he was anal retentive, but it has come in handy several times. Dropping a ball from shoulder high at the very top of the massive undulation during dry conditions will result in the ball stopping 7 feet short of the front fringe. That is an important number to remember along with flagstick regulations being a minimum of 7 feet from the fringe.

My lasting memory of the 15th hole was just last year. Mr. Brian Watson decided 'The Road Hole' should be played accordingly. After some aggressive advice and personal desperation, Mr. Brian decided tournament legends never lay up. He punished his ball off the tee and down Lime Plant Road about 230 yards on the fly. We all prayed a truck was not coming around the corner as it flew. It hit the road once as planned and hopped back up into the right rough. He had just 114 yards to the green for double eagle.

That kinda of shot is legendary because it was perfect. That is why he is not Brian Watson, but Mr. Brian Watson. He probably has balls the size of baseballs. As Morris said from his barber shop chair in the movie 'Coming to America', 'That boy is good!'"