December 24, 2010

POWELL, OH — It was widely thought throughout the entire United States, not just the sports world, that Cliff Lee was the highest sought free agent from the state of Texas. But to a few of the out-of-the-box thinkers in Golfapalooza nation, the biggest item on their Christmas list was delivered today.

Early news out of Butter’s neighborhood (Scioto Reserve) is that Jackson Heights own, Randy Watson, has signed a 1 year tender offer, and has moved into the exclusive location. Terms were undisclosed, but rumor is the boys in the neighborhood had to pony up big to get Watson. Watson’s agent, Scott Boras, had said all along that his client was not interested in signing a long-term extension until he got settled in and gave it a year to see it would really be as awesome as he’d dreamed.

Nobody is happier about these latest developments than Butter. When contacted at his home this morning he couldn’t stop gushing. “This has always been a huge piece of the ultimate plan. With Watson, myself and Bro we’ve got a good nucleus to really make some headway into dominating a lot of the more important activities and awards every September. If Pagett can get his shit together and Melick, Minardi and Sullivan ever show up again, seriously, it wouldn’t even be funny.”

Calls were made to the Wheeling Loozers to get their thoughts on today’s events, but the most any of them would say was “No Comment”.