The Ass Odds
June 4, 2004
WINSTON-SALEM, NC — What kind of ass will show in Winston-Salem? Maybe someone that cannot drive a golf cart or maybe someone that uses a golf towel instead of toilet paper. Or maybe even someone wearing a "Winton-Salem" golf shirt. Only 8 more days until we know for sure when the group crowns another ass.
Jay Dilks of the Captains Club was tasked with what everyone thought to be the impossible back in late 2001. He was to produce an award that would bring out the worst in anyone. It took some thought, but he found it. The award does not identify the most out-of-control drunk, but the biggest ass of the weekend.
"This award is not as wide-open as the NOOG system," says Jay Dilks. "Some of these guys would be favored in Vegas." Jay Dilks decided to have his own odds on winning the Horses Ass. "I think we have some front runners, so I put together odds. Maybe a casino will pick up my list."
3:1 Jon Munksgard
This guy is an unlit firecracker. Light the wick with his favorite "man pop" and anything is possible.
4:1 Kevin Long, Jr.
This guy could forget his golf clubs back in Virginia.
5:1 Jeff Cowan
The guy purchased and is personally bringing 1,200 beers with him. Enough said.
5:1 Kyle Marti
A second career tackle could result in the awards presentation at the local hospital.
8:1 Matt Davis
Our Honoree has not hurt himself significantly in 3 years. He has not fell down stairs in nearly 5 years.
8:1 Jim Campbell
There are no closests in the hotel in which to sleep in. Anyone's guess where we will end up sleeping from loud snoring.
9:1 Mike Trojanowski
Will he wear a cup during the Closest to the Pin Contest? Can he afford to risk it?
9:1 Mike Watkeys
He plans to have enough Tequila to feed the two foursomes ahead and the two foursomes behind each day.
11:1 Randy Mineweaser
Unprepared rookies from Warren, PA have won before.
12:1 Chad Long
Might forget which golf course and tee up on the Reynolds.
15:1 Mike Certo
This guy could pass out with a cigar in his mouth and burn down the hotel.
"That is my list," says Jay Dilks. "Anyone is eligible, but certain players just have what it takes. Our Horses Ass Award will be given out to the player distinguishing the personality of a true horses ass."
The horses ass award will be determined after completion of Round 3 on Saturday during a Captains Club meeting. The Captains Club and Tournament Honoree will vote on the award winner. Based on the results, Jay Dilks with help will announce the finalists and why they were considered. Only after the finalists are released will the Tournament Honoree and Jay Dilks release the winner's name and present the trophy.