News Release
Harold Wins Open
Ms. Lacey Underall
Passing the Test
Any Questions?
'Rock' Solid Putting
Finishing Strong Again
Consumption Records
Turtle Boy
Championship Preview
C+
Position: Key to Jacket
Eightsomes Return
What's Next?
Tournament Notebook
Spackler Rankings Released
Handicapping
Skills Challenge Contest
'Talking about Practice'
Are you Sash Worthy?
Luxurious Obese Fairways
Tatum Returns w/ Rookie

February 8, 2008

SMITHFIELD, VA — The Carl Spackler business office has reloaded their event with Jeff Tatum of Smithfield, VA. Tatum signed his national letter of intent to play in the 2008 Carl Spacker Open back in December. Tatum boosts the field of players and will represent the state of Virginia.

Tatum returns after violating the "Red Zone Alert" last year. "After violating the RED ZONE last year, I am back with a new recruit," exclaimed Jeff Tatum from his office desk. "My new recruit, Matt Mogel, will start preparing now for a tournament that is expected to change his life forever. He is in for a rude awakening!"

Tatum is referring to Matt Mogel, who resides in a town nearly one-half the size of Warren, PA. The town is northeast of Syracuse, NY and a suburb of Rome, NY. The population of 6,875 is half the size of Peru, IN. "Matt has not adapted well to large cities like Peru," said Tatum. "He also has experienced puking problems after keg stands. The metro area of Peru plus alcohol volume could rattle his cage and be responsible for a modern golf collapse."

Tatum finished in a tie for 29th position in June 2006.

"All rookies including Mogel better be ready at this point or suffer the consequences," said Kevin Long, Jr. of nearby Virginia Beach. "I would be very nervous with the dreadful Carl Spackler Outfit lerking. I hope Trojanowski got it dry cleaned."

The CEO of the Captains Club, Jamie Myers noted, "I am glad Tatum has returned. I hope he is the kinda player that can elevate himself beyond his rookie efforts. The 29th place finish in Raleigh was a disappointment."

Mogel provided a written statement with his registration. "I have been looking for a tournament for many years now," said Mogel. "A place where serious drinkers can go and compete and have fun with a bunch of good people (I meant serious golfers). Tatum informed me of the fun and would like me to attend. After visiting the website, I knew that this was the tournament for me. Now I am looking forward to the experience, the stories, and the new friends that I will make in a place that I would never have visited."

The final field is expected to be 60 participants. Tournament Pairings and Rooming List will be available in mid-May after outstanding balances are collected. The golf tournament is scheduled with 18-holes on Thursday, Friday and Saturday. The awards presentation is scheduled on Saturday night.

Tatum signs as the 31st player to the field. Mogel signs as the 32nd player. In other news, the U.S. Senate came to a tenative agreement to pay for 90 percent of the 2008 Carl Spackler Open Championship. Under the new agreement, the government would provide the very experienced Jerry Long a free golf trip through the social security system. There are 117 days before Round 1.