News Release
Harold Wins Open
Ms. Lacey Underall
Passing the Test
Any Questions?
'Rock' Solid Putting
Finishing Strong Again
Consumption Records
Turtle Boy
Championship Preview
C+
Position: Key to Jacket
Eightsomes Return
What's Next?
Tournament Notebook
Spackler Rankings Released
Handicapping
Skills Challenge Contest
'Talking about Practice'
Are you Sash Worthy?
Luxurious Obese Fairways
Jake Commits to Spackler

May 8, 2008

SUNBURY, OH — Open Championship rookie Jake Daw is fired up. Daw has signed as the 71st golfer and has high expectations for this debut in June. As the tournament preparation progresses, he fully expects to beat Dosky and Gibson as rented mules and return home with bragging rights.

Daw signs with the highest or second highest stroke handicap in the history of the annual event. Jake's present 71-stroke handicap is very premature, but does resemble the first couple scorecards posted by Marc Long of Powell, OH.

When asked how he feels about fellow members expectations of him, Daw snorted, "I could care less of their expectations of me. Most do not know me so they will probably think I am going to suck. By the end of the week they will be the ones sucking."

Jake will be competing against some buddies from the office. Gibson, Gastesi, and Dosky all committed to the Carl Spackler Open. "I never let friendships get in the way with competition," says Daw. "I will be gunning for them."

Daw averages a half par, a half bogey, two double bogeys, and three triple bogeys per round through two rounds.

"I heard Dosky's game has really taken a turn for the worse," said Daw. "He was the one that got me into this damn game so I have little sympathy for his temporary string of hacking. I am going to make him cry worse than a woman."

Jake has taken measures in April and May to ensure a high level of play, but those measures will remain secret. When asked if the rumors of his driving prowess are true, Daw stated, "Just a rumor. I am not sure who mentioned that to you but I should speak to them about that."

Jeremy Daw signs as the 71st golfer to a 72 golfer tournament field. The 2008 Carl Spackler Open Championship will begin play on June 5 at Rock Hollow Golf Club in Peru, IN.