July 18, 2012

POWELL, OH — A much-anticipated event occurred overnight in the world of Golfapalooza. Ken "Spyderrrrrrrr" Pagett signed on the dotted line, adding his name to the field for Golfapalooza XVI, which is just over 60 days away. Spyder is the 20th Loozer to officially commit to this year's event, which will make GXVI the 11th consecutive year in which there has been 20 or more participants. As we've always done in the past, the special prize Spyder wins for being that 20th Loozer is absolutely ****ing nothing. But its amusing to me to think of Spyder being all excited for a few seconds reading that before he got to the end of the sentence. SPYDERRRRRRRR!!!!

Spyder is looking to have a big impact at GXVI. After a disappointing rookie season in 2010, one that earned him a Green Jacket and had him watching fellow rookie Munk walk away with most of the weekend's hardware and cash, Spyder bounced back with an impressive top 10 finish in 2011. "I'm so ready" he said, "I've been drinking Petrone every day and deliberately depriving myself of sleep to make sure I'm in peek physical condition when September rolls around."

Golfapalooza will be the first 2012 event in which Spyder will showcase his talents. He's unable to participate in this week's Pre-G single-round event in Westerville, Ohio. As well, Spyder, along with GStan, both missed March's Bropalooza event for "unspecified health reasons."

Founding Father "Butter" Flanagan chimed in on the signing of yet another Powell, OH neighbor of his who seems to be a lifer. "I knew from the very first time I met Spyder that he would be awesome at drinking and terrible at golf, the perfect foundation upon which to build a Loozer; plus, I'm really excited at the prospect of hearing the shouts of 'SPYDERRRRRRRR' echoing through the hills of Alpine Lake again this year." Founding Father GStan had a slightly different take on that. "I'm definitely excited that Spyder's coming back, but we're gonna be yelling 'SPYDERRRRRRRR!!!!' whether he is there or not. Its just one of those things that's fun to yell. Just like 'JEEEEZZZZUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!' Think how many times we yell that ****er's name over a weekend and he's been AWOL for like 2000 years."

If you haven't done so already, get your registration for GXVI done and complete your options. CANT WAIT!!!