June 22, 2002

WHEELING, WV — Brian "Elvis" McCormick, GV's Rookie of the Year, has officially signed to compete at Golfapalooza 2002.  "I am so excited that Elvis is coming back this year," says Gstan, "mostly because when he brings out his guitar this year, I am not going to be nearly as intoxicated; I'll grab my 6-string and show these Loozers that I actually can play."  

Carin is another Loozer grateful to have Elvis return.  "With Butter and Gus's waistlines shrinking, Elvis is really the only Loozer left whose weight I can make fun of," Carin noted.  "Everyone else is now skinnier than me."  

Squib is one Loozer who has mixed emotions about Elvis's second G appearance.  "Elvis did an awesome job with the cooking last year", says Squib "but if I had not eaten 6 of his hot sausage sandwiches early Saturday evening, I would not have puked nearly as much as I did.  Don't get me wrong, I would still have been really, really, really, really, really, really, near-death drunk, but I know I would have puked alot less."