August 27, 2002

WHEELING, WV — With GVI less than a month away final preparations are being made?Food ordered, apparel ordered, entertainment booked, tee times made, coke product ordered, ping pong table dusted off(stickers added), dart board mounted and still Brent can not find anyone that wants to ride him to Wheeling.  

?You guys all suck? Brent says.  ?I am a Founding Father for Christ sake, I need a ride and you WILL ride me.?  

?I don?t care if he is the President of the Guam, his stinky ass is getting no where near my car? says Butter.  ?I really don?t want his clubs touching mine.  Who knows how much bad luck would rub off on my clubs.  I mean have you ever seen anyone consistently miss 30 foot putts the way Brent does?  says Jackson Heights very own.  

About the only guy willing to give Brent a ride is McFarland.  ?The sooner I get a chance to knock his ass out the sooner I can concentrate on my golf game.  Hell, I?ll drive to St. Louis if I have to.?

A handful of Loozers will begin their weekend with a practice round on Wednesday.  With most Loozers showing up Wednesday night and a few stragglers Thursday morning before the official noon toast and tee off.  ?I really feel sorry for those Loozers that can?t get permission to show up a day early to play the practice round.  Hell some of these guys live and die by Golfapalooza.  It?s like their life is consumed by it.  And for their wives to not let them live their dream, it?s a travesty.? says Founding Father Eric Kaniecki.