GLEN ALLEN, VA — Have you wondered just how fast the greens you play compare to those of another golf course you play regularly or perhaps to the conditions that are in the US Open?

Mike Herron, the 2005 Carl Spackler Outfit recipient, was asked to hold an educational press conference discussing green speed and stimp. He took the bull by the horns and greeted golfers in a nearby tavern. "Hello everyone. I heard you learn a lot about something when you need to discuss it publicly. Green speed is my game, but the term 'stimp' certaintly involved more than I originally anticipated.

For starters, 'stimp' was invented by a fellow named Eddie Stimpson. The term 'stimpmeter' was a simple device he created to measure the speed or 'stimp' of a green. It's very low-tech, essentially just a small 3-foot metal ramp that is angled down to a flat part of a putting green."

Herron took another shot of whiskey and continued, "A golf ball is released down the ramp. The distance the ball rolls is your 'stimp', which again is a measurement of green speed." The underside of the stimpmeter is tapered and milled away to reduce bounce as a rolling ball makes contact with the green.

"The farther the ball rolls, the faster the green," added Herron.

Kyle Marti asked, "That does not make complete sense. The steeper the ramp, the faster the ball will accelerate. How steep is the ramp?" Herron replied, "Good question. There is a ball-release notch designed into the stimpmeter so that a ball will always be released and start to roll when the Stimpmeter is raised to an angle of approximately 20 degrees."

Marti replied, "Cool. What about the slopes of the green? How do you account for unmeasurable downhill slope to a green when measuring stimp?" Herron answered, "Maybe I should not have taken that shot. I am not thinking clearly. That is another good question."

Herron paused and continued, "Let's step through the process a little. We want to select a levelish area on the green, approximately 10 feet by 10 feet. If you cannot find one, you want to do the best you can.

Insert a tee in the green near the edge of the area selected to serve as a starting point. Rest the tapered end on the ground beside the tee and aim it in the direction you intend to roll the ball. Put the ball in the notch and slowly raise the end until the ball starts to roll down the groove. You want to be sober so you can hold the Stimpmeter steady until the ball reaches the putting surface. Take another tee out your pocket and mark where the ball finished rolling. We want to do the exact same thing two more times so we can collect an average distance. Mark the average with a tee. The distance between the two tees is the length of the first series of rolls. If the balls are more than 8 inches apart, you are too drunk. You need to give the job to someone else and start over.

Use your second tee as a starting point and the first tee as an aiming point. We must measure the distance in the opposite direction so we can eliminate any downhill or uphill slope measured previously."

Herron looked pretty wasted as he began to lean forward at his bar stool. "You should have two distance points. Measure the two distances with a tape measure and calculate their simple average. This is your 'stimp'.

Should the difference in length between the first and second series be greater than 18 inches, the accuracy of the resulting average may be questionable. Sometimes a green may be so severely undulating or sloping that a level area is simply not available.

"Does this answer your question Kyle?" Marti answered, "Yes. Perfectly. When is Spackler going to start measuring 'stimp' at their tournaments? Herron replied, "That is a good question. I have never heard of a major championship without a stimpmeter reading for participants."

Green speeds for individual golf courses should remain up to the course officials, with the input of the superintendent, of each facility.

The speed of the green can actually change during the course of the day depending upon the amount of moisture from any dew or precipitation that may occur, how much the grass grows during the day, the amount of play and marks left by fellow golfers strolling all over the green.

Joe Butkus stepped forward. My buddy Mike is loaded. He is forgetting the most important part. What are the stimpmeter readings and what is fast?"

Butkus answered his own question. "Stimpmeter readings on American golf courses generally range from 7 feet to 12 feet completely dependent on slope, contours, green size, grasses, weather, and budget. Courses that try to keep the speed above 10 feet on a consistent basis usually cause difficult-to-manage turf problems. Most courses stimp around an 8.

Mowing height and frequency of cut are extremely important considerations to stimp. The type of mower effects stimp readings. Double-cutting, verticutting and rolling of greens can increase stimp. Green height, watering practices, and surface moisture can decrease stimp.

Most public or municipal golf courses are set to a Stimp reading of between 7 and 10. Slow or soft greens would be in the 5 to 7 range, while most courses on the PGA Tour would be in the 10-12 range. Mountain Valley was probably a 5 or 6 and Neuse was probably a 7. Augusta National probably rolls at 13 and United States Open probably rolls at 13 or 14. My kitchen tile floor is not big enough to measure. The bar floor here would roll about 40 after we hosed it out and let it dry."