News Release
Buckle Up!
Rookies
Hurricane Winds Swirling
Could this be you?
Prime Time
Hard and Repulsive
Less than 30 days
Bartlett to miss Round 1
Contest Winners Announced
Vegas Releases GVI Odds
The Real Stan Signs
Rookie Blankenburger Ready
Second Letter Sent
GVI Preparations in Progress
Elvis Is In the Building
Rookie Entries Piling Up
Bartlett Set to Return
New Award for 2002
Schlitzmaltliquorski Registers
Rookie Dosky Signs
A True Horses Ass

May 22, 2002

WILLIAMSBURG, VA — Every organization has a means of recognizing excellence from within.  We have those awards.  The horse's ass is not one of them.  The Horse's Ass Award is one which is educational in nature - learn from the mistakes of others.  In order to help you learn from the mistakes of others - we make public all of the errors that our players make at the official Carl Spackler Open.

One particular member has started a tradition that will not be forgotten.  Only an ass can silence players who brag about their misspelled golf shirts.  Mike Watkeys won the 2002 Horses Ass Award in Williamsburg, VA by a 9-6 player vote.

Watkeys won the award by driving full speed in a golf cart and slamming into a tree and then firing face-first through the windshield.  "I was driving the cart up to my ball in the passenger seat", said Watkeys.  I was wondering if my next Tequilia Sunrise would taste better before or after my next shot.  When I looked up, it was too late."

A partner of Watkeys, Chris Goss was in the No. 16 fairway bunker when Watkeys in the bunker.  "I could not believe how hard the cart hit the tree", Goss stated.  Chris added that when Mike fell to the ground and rolled over that things were not good.  "I think I broke both my fu-ing legs!", said Watkeys as he rolled around in the fetal position.

Mike Watkeys won the 2002 Horses Ass Award with no style.  With so many rules and safety always a concern for the Open, there was no guarantee of a nomination.  Especially at the Colonial Golf Club.  Mike definitely eliminated most of the doubt in Round 1.