September 23, 2002

WHEELING, WV — In a press release early Monday, a mere three days before the nation's top amateurs tee it up head to head, GStan is predicting that Golfapalooza 2002 will be the most intense and explosive yet.  "I think everyone better buckle up, this is going to be a bumpy ride," he warned. "We've got rookies already talking trash, we've got veterans threating to bring in the Knob Creek by the gallon, and we've got Slick with a broken swing and at least a half a dozen Loozers just waiting for right moment to pounce and knock him off his fragile perch."  

GStan added, "I have no idea what is going to happen, but I thank the lord that I am at least going to be there to witness it.  And this year I am going to remember all of it."  He also expresses feelings of remorse for those who will not be there.  "I wish Clem were coming back, he tells the best stories, and I am sad that I will not once have the opportunity to scream "THE HAMMER"".

A normally unemotional and non-confrontational GStan ended by throwing a little gasoline on the fire; "I look forward to seeing everyone out on number 1 tee box this Thursday and then proceeding to kick everyone's ass for the next 54 holes."  Dem's fightin' words GStan.