News Release
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License to Kill Gophers
Wipe that Horses Ass
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Slick Wins Closest to Pin
As White as a Tiger
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2003 Awards
Player Meeting Scheduled
New Kitchen Pass Award
Sokos Signs Really Late
Remembering Perfection
New Kitchen Pass Award

May 24, 2003

ASHTABULA, OH — Al Cervic, the laughable and lovable buffoon that plagues us all on the golf course. Al only took his game seriously when the chips were down. In the spirit of Al, the Captain?s Club presents the "Al Cervic Outfit". Awarded prior to the last round of the Open to the individual whose dismal golf has left him in last place.

This excuse of a golfer must wear the Al Cervic Outfit for the entire final round. Unbelievably, the Captain?s Club does this in the best interest of that individual donning the Al Cervic Outfit. This is done to show what form of ridicule lies ahead should this hacker not take Cervic-like action and gain his composure, much like a man must do when his wife scolds him like a child after spending an evening out with his friends.

Displayed along with the Golden Jacket and Carl Spackler Outfit the night before the Open begins, the Al Cervic Outfit is the only fair warning a golfer will receive. Again, this display is coordinated by the Captain?s Club in hopes of pushing those less than average golfers to not only to avoid the Al Cervic and Carl Spackler Outfits but to strive to do the unbelievable.

Along with the Cervic Outfit, there is a new Kitchen Pass Award for the player that best represents the values of the "PWRP" and attends the trip regardless of family or outside pressures.  "This award is very important because not just anyone has the ability to leave their wife at the hospital and attend the Carl Spackler Open."  These type of commitments cannot be ignored.