News Release
Hail to the chef
New Champs
In the Bag
Randy's Green Jacket
Dieterle's Replacement
Girly Men
Field Set for GVIII
Focus on Tequila
Not Again!
Patio to miss round 1
What Matters, Matters
New Champs Assured
The Real Stan Signs
Elvis is NOT in Cabin
Quackenbush Signs
Lazy Loozers
Rumors of 2nd Major
Bateson 1st GVIII rookie
Sprague set to defend
GVIII letters in mail
Elvis is NOT in Cabin

August 20, 2004

TERRA ALTA, WV — Elvis was in the house, but it appears a lack of funding will prevent Brian McCormick from a 4th straight return to Golfapalooza.

"I can't afford the gas, golf, or gambling this year," says Elvis from his home in Ohio.  "Someone needs to step up and cook those steaks this year.  Just make sure they do not embarrass my great taste tradition."

Elvis, who has not played a full round of golf since Golfapalooza 2003 placed 9th last year for the MELC Championship.  McCormick, who has been struggling with fatigue on the back nine at Alpine Lake has eliminated another plunge in 2005.

McCormick has consistently scored poorly on the back nine, while tearing up the front each round of each year.  "He really sucks over the long-haul," says friend Brent Kaniecki.  "I really do not think he sees the fatigue as a key problem with his game.  His termendous physical shape would make you think he was ready to play 36 holes per day."

McCormick is in a large line of cancellations for this year's event.  Darin Cross, Don McFarland, and Greg Garrett are also reportedly skipping the event.

Golfapalooza begins in 34 days at Alpine Lake Resort in Terra Alta, West Virginia.