News Release
Hail to the chef
New Champs
In the Bag
Randy's Green Jacket
Dieterle's Replacement
Girly Men
Field Set for GVIII
Focus on Tequila
Not Again!
Patio to miss round 1
What Matters, Matters
New Champs Assured
The Real Stan Signs
Elvis is NOT in Cabin
Quackenbush Signs
Lazy Loozers
Rumors of 2nd Major
Bateson 1st GVIII rookie
Sprague set to defend
GVIII letters in mail
Not Again!

September 14, 2004

TERRA ALTA, WV — Golfapalooza, which has been plagued by weather for the past four years, is not worried about Hurricane Boland.  However, JT Thomas is screaming as Hurricane Ivan schedules itself to make a direct hit through Terra Alta next Tuesday.

"Bring your best swim trunks and water-proof gloves," says JT Thomas.  "Shirts and shoes are optional this year and lift/clean/place is nearly guaranteed.  I have instructed our tournament officials to check into canoe rentals instead of golf carts."

Hurricane Ivan was recently forecasted to blast through Panama City, FL on Thursday morning and move into Knoxville, TN on Saturday morning.  The extended forecast includes a slow down through the Smokey Mountains before entering southwestern West Virginia on Monday.

"No problems here.  I have some really nice swim trunks," says Bill Kolibash.  "They look exactly like golf shorts and are very sexy.  Besides, I think this type of weather really helps the hackers and crowns a true MELC Champion."

Golfapalooza begins in 9 days at Alpine Lake Resort.